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Ghost of Sam Post

Prizes Galore – Wood For Everyone

Bravo! What a wonderful job you guys did in figuring out my riddle from last time. I guess I’m going to have to split the grand prize though, for a few reasons. Number one, there were only two contestants. Number two, one of them cheated. There is no way that a person could know, offhand, the details of that song title, and the lyrics, and the name of the movie, and the singer. Somebody looked it up on Google, didn’t they? The other contestant has to get kudos and a prize for sheer enthusiasm. I felt your zeal as I read your response; you didn’t even take time to capitalize! No matter, I didn’t take off for grammar. The rules stated that the longest comment would win. Well, that means that Ms. Zeal wins; the other contestant, Mr. Google, had more facts, but the comments, though numerous, were very short. Then again, the suggestion for the grando prizo was a good one (free, upickitup fire wood) so he should get a prize for that suggestion. But, the rules also stated that for anyone to win, all of the people in the office had to comment. Did we lose a few employees? Are we down to a two person office? No matter, I’m awarding the grand prize to both our contestants. Both of you can come over here and share in the monstrous logs (see picture from last time) that can be used to fuel your homes to keep them warm and cozy for many years. I have even chopped them into smaller pieces (each maybe six feet in length) for you so they will fit into your cars. (What a guy!) I bet that all the other employees in the office are feeling bad now that they didn’t participate in the festivities. I probably would have split the prize to include everyone. Then everyone would have a load of firewood. Like they say, you’ve got to be in it to win it.

Now that I see that you guys are chomping at the bit for the next exciting contest, I’ll give it to you here. Who said, “be on your merry.” This could be a movie, oops, I did it again, I wanted to not make it so easy. Who said it, what movie, was there more to the sentence, who was it said to, and concerning what? C’mon, Emcee, I know you can do it! We’ll use the same rules as before. Everyone must make a comment (just ONE comment, thank you) and the longest, most fact filled entry will win another stupendous prize. How exciting (yay). As before, I’ll take suggestions for the prize. I’ve still got plenty of wood, so if you guys really want more wood, that’s okay. Cash prizes would be nice, but you guys don’t really have to pay me for running this contest this time, maybe next week ?. I’m thinking of including all of these contests in a future anthology. Should I call it “Bloganthology”, or “Ghostanthology”, or “Sam Postanthology”? There will be a prize for the best suggestion for the name of this grand writing. Of course, everyone who participates will get a free, autographed copy for their archives. Such a deal!

Now for an update on the tree. Remember the picture showing the part of the tree on the ground, and the other part still attached overhead? (Raise your hand if you remember) Okay. You remember that I told you that I had to rig it such that it would experience a slow fall. I didn’t want it to crash down and ruin the fence, or my hairdo. It worked well, it came down very slowly as planned and I was able to detach upper from lower so that the one part stayed up while the other came to rest quietly on the ground. So far, so good. Now it has been about a week since chopping the tree. The upper portion is still in slow fall. Very slow fall. The supporting trees are bending under the weight of the large tree and I figure it will touch down in about two years time. Each day I go out to measure the progress. It seems to be in slow motion. This is rather “cool” because, at some point, it will be low enough for me to chop more of the trunk above the rope holding it up without having to use a ladder. I am calculating how much the remaining trunk will spring and how far it will project the tree in the opposite direction when I cut the trunk. I figure that I can cut about another ten feet off of the tree that is protruding above the rope. Ten feet of this tree has to weigh (yes, I’m guessing, now) maybe five hundred pounds, three and one-half ounces (rough estimate). Of course, we must take into account that the tree is still attached to its roots, mangled, but attached. This would figure into the equation. Wind speed at the time, whether it is raining, whether I’ve had coffee, these are some of the many factors that will affect the slingshot effect of such an undertaking. If any of you out there can shed any light on the situation, I will grant another prize for the most accurate answer. That is, what is the distance, to the nearest inch, that the tree will spring back when I chop off ten feet of its length?

Nuff said about trees, time to leaves. (Get it? Tree, leaves?) I was going to be a stand up comedian, you know why? Because I didn’t have a chair! That’s an original, boys and girls, you heard it first, right here from the Ghost.

Saw a neat movie last night. Mad Money. A story, based on true events, about three employees of a government facility that destroys old money. The employees, suffering from the present dilemma (where do you find the “dilemmas”? Right next to the “dilimes”) that we are going through with downsizing, job losses, foreclosures, and such. The people get together and decide to steal the money that is scheduled for destruction anyway. Why not? Well they steal a lot of money, they get caught, and now they start worrying about who’s going to jail. Thing is, no one can prove that they stole anything. But, they get a lawyer who represents them all and he pretty well gets them off because the government can’t prove anything. Then the IRS comes in and says, “they didn’t pay taxes on the stolen loot, so we have them for tax evasion.” Then they cut a deal where, if they give the money back, then all is forgiven – no jail. Great, give it all back, they don’t gain, but they don’t go to jail, so that’s good. They make the deal; everyone is poor again, but relieved. Not quite. After all is said and done, the ringleader gathers her buddies to a hidden cache where she’s hidden lots of other money that the Feds don’t know about. Now they are happy again and they all go to other parts of the world to enjoy life. Happy ending. I know that all of us would like to be able to do something like this, get money for nothing, then lead a life of luxury, but what message is being sent to the young folks? That the clever people get the loot and the stupid ones go to work? That it’s just as laudable to steal money as it is to earn it by working? That it’s okay to overextend your finances (being irresponsible) and then you just go steal your way out of the trouble? Remember that the government was not able to prove that they stole anything, so that makes it okay to steal? In the beginning of the flick (it’s told in flashback modules) the main character says something like, “Well, I figure that there’s some criminal in everyone, so it’s okay to do what we did.” She says that we are all capable of doing crimes so that makes it okay to do whatever we want to do. Then, if you get caught, you lie your way out, or hire a lawyer to lie for you. After all, that’s what lawyers go to school for, to learn how to “win”, not to learn about morals. It isn’t about making a society better, it’s about technicalities, deception, lies, and winning your case. The more stories of this type that are spread throughout our society, the more we are teaching the citizens that winning, stealing, lying, and crime are equated with virtue, integrity, and hard work. Are we to learn from stories like this that work is for people who are not clever enough to steal?

Another flick comes to mind that I saw recently. This one was a martial arts movie about a Thai whose father is murdered by the Chinese and two of his elephants are stolen. This young man is filled with integrity. He goes in search of the bad guys, beats all of them with his Muay Thai (Thai kick boxing) and succeeds in getting his baby elephant back home. It was a little hokey in the movie making department, but it was refreshing to see the pride and integrity in the main character as he avenged his father’s death and saved at least one of his prized elephants. They had a bit of historical fact about how elephants, in the old times of war, were used and highly prized by the royalty of the time. The main character reminded me of Jackie Chan, only he was tougher. So says Sam Post.

Published Jul 08 2008, 10:00 AM by Sam Post
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