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Ghost of Sam Post

April 2008 - Posts

  • Where Am I?

    I thought I lived in America. When you get out of bed in the morning you like to think that you're still in the same country that you went to sleep in the night before. Lately, I'm not so sure. I've heard about this "global" economy and other idiocy, but I kinda like the good business practices that we've built up in this country over the last two hundred years. When I call a place of business (in this country) I expect to hear a voice speaking English without an accent. Now, I realize that some of our states contain people who have peculiar accents, like redneckese, western drawl, southern drawl, and Brooklynese, ya know wad I mean? I can understand these anomalies (except Californians, they're from another planet) because they are speaking "almost English." Okay, I see the glassy stares I'm getting. You want to know what I'm talking about, yeah? Youse listen up now cause I'ma gonna tell ya.

    Today I called my bank to ask a simple question. I get through the first battery of button pushing, wade through a horde of security questions, and finally, I get a humanoid (I think he was human) speaking some kind of language that I didn't recognize. Hey, we're dealing with my money here, I have no sense of humor when it comes to my money. How do I know what this "ferener" is saying? He might be telling me something nasty like, "your mother wears army boots" (the ultimate insult, my mother was never in the army) or, maybe he's giving me the winner lottery numbers (who cares, I never waste money on that nonsense anyway). Actually, I did play all the numbers he spoke of that I could discern. There were all very small numbers, and I didn't win the jackpot. Afterwards, I realized that he was giving me my bank account balance. 

    At the end of our conversation (I spoke English, he spoke ???) I asked him where I was calling. He said, "Bombee". Now I thought he was talking about a cute little Disney fawn. Then I realized he might be telling me the location of where he worked. I said, "You mean Bombay?" "Yes, sir," he stated, and then he proceeded to tell me all about his city. After much prattle on his side of the phone he invited me to visit him, to stay at his house, and to travel there at his expense. At least that's what I think he said. I asked if all the inhabitants of his country (India) wore feathers and lived in teepees. He didn't quite understand. I guess I'll find out when I get there.

    So says Sam Post.

    Posted Apr 29 2008, 09:32 AM by Sam Post with 10 comment(s)
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  • Love them Celts

    I went to the Celtic Festival last Saturday with my wife and her parents. There were pretty girls (they all looked like girls because they were all wearing skirts, but some had beards so maybe some of them were guys), great dancers and musicians, and heavenly food. Best of all, they had real Guinness on tap, the only place I've ever found this beverage the way that it's supposed to be served. Even at the ridiculously high price of $5.00 for a small glass, it still was great tasting. I enjoyed the marching bands and all the colorful costumes. I highly recommend a folk singer by the name of Davey Clark. He's a regular performer at these events so if you go next year, be sure to attend his performance. In fact, I didn't hear any music or group that I didn't thoroughly enjoy.

    The food was succulent and it was presented in great quantity and variety. I didn't partake of all the fare, but the few items that I tasted gave me an idea of what it might have been like back in the sixteen hundreds below the salt. Of course, once I finished a large turkey leg and a big plate of sweet potato fries, it was time to sample the pastries. Wow! Everything was super. I had some of the breads, cakes, cookies, jams, and breakfast sandwiches. No, I didn't try the haggis. To wash all of these wonderful bakery delights down, I had a most delectable strawberry drink. I know I gained five pounds during the day and I doubt that it was all muscle.

    The authenticity of the festival was well thought out. Each costume was unique to its own clan. I guess the Celts don't recognize their own family unless they are wearing the clan's own particular kilt. No matter, color schemes work. As I looked around I expected to see Mel Gibson swing into view with his broadsword, lop off a few heads, and give his best Scottish scream. I guess I missed that; I went to the bathroom to recycle the Guinness. Even the restrooms had a Celtic aire. Over the urinals there was a sign that read: "Your tips are appreciated." Boy, they think of everything. What I liked best about the decoration though, was a long-haired bovine (with horns) that they led up and down the main thoroughfare. One had to be alert because, while you were looking at the cattle, you were probably stepping in his droppings - and they were big, steaming, and smelly.

    Will I go next year? You bet I will. The entertainment is phenomenal, the food is fantastic, and the costumes great. And the games; don't forget to watch the caber toss. These are large poles that are flipped end over end. Caber is the Gaelic word for "tree". Somebody should tell the Irish that there are tools made for cutting up trees. Sure would be easier than banging the giant trees on the ground to make firewood. I guess that's how they work up a powerful thirst for Guinness.

    So says Sam Post. 


    Posted Apr 23 2008, 01:43 PM by Sam Post with 4 comment(s)
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  • Deadbeats and other good people

    Boy, have we come a long way down into the toilet. We surely must be, as the Bible tells us, in the "end times." Among the many items on the Bible's doom list is that society will see things backwards. Right will be seen as wrong, wrong will be seen as right. Used to be that if you took on a debt, like credit card debt, mortgage debt, etc., and you did what you said you would do, that is, pay it back, you were considered to be a good, reliable person. A person to be trusted and to be given better rates because you had integrity. If, however, you paid late, or not at all, you would be considered untrustworthy and you would not be given more credit. After all, you agreed to pay back your loan, isn't the lending agency entitled to have you live up to your promise? I think so. Well, times have changed. Now if you don't pay your debts you are given more credit, additional cards, lower rates, and extended deadlines. And if you pay on time, never incurring a late charge? Well, then you're considered a deadbeat by the credit card companies. Need proof? Watch the documentary entitled: Maxed Out.

    Maxed Out is an excellent expose on the current conditions in the world of credit card, mortgages, and bankruptcy. It comments on how credit card companies target college students for easy credit because this group is the most naive and easily led. When a person gets overdrawn on a credit card, they just get another card from a different company. Charges pile up, they get a third card until the debt is so high that it can never be satisfied. In the extreme, some students have committed suicide, some try bankruptcy, others turn to crime. The bankruptcy situation became so widespread that President Bush changed the bankruptcy laws to make it much more difficult to declare.

    Want more proof of the horrible condition and backward nature of our society? Today we're experiencing record number of foreclosures. This is the result of morons in office, a few years back, altering the lending industry so that the folks with bad credit or no credit could get mortgages at lower rates. Sounds like this is a good thing until you see that these borrowers are usually the folks who don't put a high priority on paying their bills. Thus, now they face foreclosures for not paying their mortgages. These people always were irresponsible and an even more irresponsible government is the reason that these people became empowered to, in effect, get themselves into trouble. Some folks have tried to get out of debt by selling their homes but this doesn't work all the time because they can't sell the house for enough to pay off the loan. For example, a person who owes a $100K mortgage may only be able to sell the house for $80K. They lose their home and they still have to pay $20K. And still we, as a society, continue to swim further down the toilet by heading in the same irresponsible direction and by electing people to office who only make these problems worse. For the last two decades this society has been recognized as the fattest (most obese) nation on earth. I think we've earned a second title: the stupidest nation on earth. See you at the Oscars.

    So says Sam Post. 

    Posted Apr 16 2008, 09:36 AM by Sam Post with 1 comment(s)
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  • Movie Ratings

     I think the ratings on movies ought to be changed. Does anybody really pay attention to G, PG13, or XXX? I doubt it. It's all nonsense anyway. I've seen great movies that had any of the above ratings and I've seen horrible movies with the same ratings. But, these silly letters are supposed to tell parents which movies their kids can watch. Do you know anybody who abides by this idiocy? Me neither. I've got a better idea for ratings that makes more sense. For example, an A movie is just "a movie", a B movie is about bees, a C movie is about the ocean, and a D movie tells you it's Italian, as in "dee movie". Simple, isn't it? And there's no secret code involved. A "PG" movie in my rating system would indicate how many minutes you have to "P". So, PG13 would be a movie that you get to "Pee - Gee, for 13 minutes". Wow, that's a great movie!

    So says Sam Post.

    Posted Apr 11 2008, 02:48 PM by Sam Post with 1 comment(s)
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  • Obituary of Common Sense

    Every once in a while something of worth comes across my desk. Unlike most moronic things that I see in this society which depict people's pathetic attempts at sensationalism, that which I will share today is definitely worthy and is presented in its entirety for those who are capable of understanding it. If the following information is new to you, gentle reader, then I feel gratified that it was me who spake it for you. You will note that the following is an obituary. Removing your hat while reading this will show proper respect.

    My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.
    Obituary - Common Sense
    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and, maybe it was my fault.
    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn - and quit trying to redistribute my income to benefit the world!) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harrassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
    Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. (Those terrible weapons of personal defense...)
    First there was the hysteria of global freezing; now it's global warming... Anthing to cause fear and to subjugate the masses! We're told to clean up our air and, despite studies to the contrary, build subsidized mass transit which causes even more foul air/CO2 and particulates.
    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three step-brothers: I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

    So says Sam Post.

    Posted Apr 04 2008, 11:16 AM by Sam Post with no comments
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  • Who Is Sam Post?

    Sam Post used to be a great society. One that operated on logic, reason, and common sense, was concerned for its citizens, possessed loyalty to ideals, and had a bright future that it worked towards. The society originally started when it refused to put up with its parent society. Like a wounded offspring, this new society wanted refuge from unfairness and other stupidities that were forced on them by those who would enslave them for the sake of "the crown". A constitution and a bill of rights were drafted, and the feeling of freedom that pervaded the air must have felt invigorating, to say the least. There were some troubles, wars and such, and small disputes, but overall, a sense of fairness and logic, an ability to think on an individual level, prevailed. The new country came a long way. And then infection set in.

    No one knows precisely when the rot started, but over the years the citizenry started to become apathetic, and worse, they started to put into power the most stupid and manipulative of their number. For the past twenty years of so, there is/was no one to elect that is worthy to be called honest, for they have no morals; caring, for they are apathetic; altruistic, for they are nothing but selfish and self-serving. Why would any citizen want such people to be in charge of their lives? Do you want the answer? Okay, here it is: They are lazy and stupid. They think that society owes them a living, that all they must do is sit and whine and the society will administer to them. They have been told that the "squeaky wheel gets the grease".

    The rulers of this society are simply playing the game of "I want all the power". They already have more money than they could ever spend, so it's not like they need, or want, to work. Now they seek power because they don't know what to do with themselves; they have no life. But they feel entitled to muck up the lives of the citizenry. How much of our tax money buys these apathetic rulers new cars, mansions, cruises, etc.? And these are the sycophants that unthinking citizens want? Not me.

    So says Sam Post.

    Posted Apr 01 2008, 09:54 AM by Sam Post with 5 comment(s)
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