Dudes named Rene, Hammer fans and homework haters – they're all on Facebook

With about 200 million people using and connecting through Facebook, it was just kismet that there would be some weird groups using the site. Weirdos need a place to congregate online, too, don't they?

Although we can't possibly list all of the profiles here that are just, well out there, we've found some of the most intriguing. Enjoy.

• Kids Who Hid in Department Store Clothing Racks While Their Mom Was Shopping: With 157,114 members, this is one of the most popular groups on Facebook. Hiding in racks as a kid was fun. Hiding in your room and posting to groups such as this one is just, well, sad.
• I Yell At Inanimate Objects: This group has 12,274 members, and features discussions centering around such hot topics as the most satisfying noise to make when yelling, and the strangest object members have yelled at.
• I Secretly Want To Punch Slow-Walking People In The Back Of The Head: This angry group boasts 1,268,798 members.
• If 1,000,000 People Join This Group, Nothing Will Happen: Self explanatory. They must have achieved their goal.
• I Will Go Out of My Way To Step On A Leaf That Looks Particularly Crunchy: There are 222,183 members of this crispy foliage-loving set.
• Because I Read Twilight I Have Unrealistic Expectations in Men: This group of disillusioned women (and maybe some men) are 261,574 strong. Oy.
• Dora the Exlorer Is Sooo An Illegal Alien: There are actually 272,347 members in this peppy-Hispanic-kid-haters club.
• I Have To Sing The ABCs To Know Which Letter Comes Before The Other: 46,879 is the number of pathetic alphabet singers in this group. Wonder if they kick off their shoes to count higher than 10?
• I Read The Group Name, I Laugh, I Join, I Never Look At It Again: There are 84,901 nonchalant members of this devil-may-care squad.
• When Someone Says "Stop" My Brain Says "Hammertime!": 89,200 fans. Can't touch that.
• Dear Homework: You're Not Attractive And I'm Not Doing You: There are 1,446,572 fans who hate doing homework. Sweet.
• Those Who Enjoy And Partake in the Distribution and Acquisition of High Fives: Only 30 members. But yeah! High fives all around.
• I Flip My Pillow Over To Get To The Cold Side: This one is strange, yet somehow comforting, with 750,552 members.
• When I Was Your Age, Pluto Was A Planet: This one will soon hit the 1 million mark, along with the one about walking to school backwards in the snow barefoot.
• People Who Always Have to Spell Their Names For Other People: Apparently there are a lot of people with hyphenated names filled with apostrophes and the phonetic equals to the normal way of spelling simple names. In fact, there are 542,485 of them.
• I Use My Cell Phone To See In The Dark: There are obviously a lot of people in need of flashlights. 776,872 to be exact.
• For Those Who Have Ever Pushed A Pull Door: In the worlds of entering and exiting, there are 183,792 "special" people.
• Why Yes, I Do Frequently Burst Out In Song: With 555,008 members, this group lives for the hills to be alive.

We think the most strange profile we saw was one posted by Adrian Andersen, who claims that if he gets 500,000 people to join his group, he will legally change his middle name to Facebook (he has 175,368 members currently). This dude says he is "dead serious" and promises to post his birth certificate if it happens. His middle name now is Rene. Can't say we blame him for wanting that change. Dudes shouldn't have chick names.

We did a Facebook search for therapy. We found a store called Therapy. We found a bunch of therapists. But we found no one offering any therapeutic relief from Facebook.

Wait...we can log off. What a novel idea.

Published Friday, July 16, 2010 1:27 PM by bulldog
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