A Thin Line

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The madness will soon creep up on you – So just join in

Halloween is a weird holiday, if you think about it. You dress in costumes, go from place to place, begging. It's panhandling, basically. 

Then there's the candy. On any other day, all the good parents are concerned about what their kids eat, and want them to eat as healthy as possible. They monitor their sugar intake, don't allow them to eat junk food, and watch how much they eat. But on Halloween, kids are allowed to eat a pillowcase full of sugary junk.

And don't forget about the tricks. On any other day, causing damage to someone's property would get you arrested. But on Halloween, it's encouraged. You can toilet paper a person's entire house, every tree and bush in the yard, mark all over the windows with soap, egg the house and cover the car in plastic wrap – and it's all good, clean fun. Yay, Halloween. The day kids can learn to vandalize. 

Let us not forget adult behavior on this night of nights. We don't get the day off from work on this holiday, so we make up for it in bizarre behavior at night. Perfectly sane, normal human beings decorate their houses in the most macabre way – skeletons, graveyards, blood, gore…and then they sit and wait for strangers to knock on their doors. On any other day, we'd meet strangers at the door with a loaded shotgun. But not on Halloween.

Then there's the way adults dress on Halloween. Young women – and the ones that dress this way are getting younger every day – are dressing in the most provocative outfits they can find, leaving nothing to the imagination. It is completely acceptable, on this one day, to go to work dressed as a bunch of grapes or a male ballerina. On any other day, if your boss came to work with an ax in his head, you'd call the cops. But not on Halloween.

Halloween is one weird day, for sure. And I didn't even mention the whole slicing and gutting of pumpkins that is required, or that people pay to go into a dark place and be terrorized by others. 

Regardless of how you feel about Halloween, I've decided that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. You'll find me in my office on Halloween, dressed as my favorite gardner, Hairy Potter.

Posted: Oct 14 2011, 12:39 PM by Red On The Head | with no comments
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