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Battery, huh? That will make an interesting court precedent. If this guy gets convicted on that charge, I he'll probably never ride an elevator again. And I bet at least one member of the jury will be put in contempt of the court for laughing every time the attorneys say "fart."

My brother called me around Christmas time and said I had to come visit the family and see the goats in the backyard. I laughed and said, ya know, with our family I actually thought you were serious for a second... He laughed and said, actually I am. Apparently our neighbors bought a couple goats for...

My old neighbors had a pet chihuahua. One day they couldn't find their dog anywhere. They were really worried about their tiny dog and were afraid it had somehow gotten out of the house and might be eaten by some bigger animal... like a medium size cat or a bird or something. They asked all around...