A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on
their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when
suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control
down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to
a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt,
now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no
brakes. What were they to do?
"I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a
Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of
Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be
on our way."
"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and
besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with
me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the
fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should
push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
A man is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, "Can't you see the warning
written on the cigarette packet, smoking is hazardous to your health!"
The man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about
warnings; we only worry about errors."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - It's a
hardware problem
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those
who don't.
Computers are like dogs. They can sense fear. You must BELIEVE that they will work.