How to place a craigslist ad
1. There is only one "n" in the middle of "dining". Please, no more “dinning” room furniture.
2. Those box-like things that pull out of dressers and chests of drawers are drawers, not drarers, drars, draurs, droors or dros.
3. There is a difference between a dresser and a chest of drawers. A dresser is a wider, lower piece of furniture, typically topped with a mirror; a chest of drawers is more upright.
4. That shiny, reflective thing in which you admire your mullet is a “mirror,” not a “mirrow.”
5. Please note: That more upright piece of bedroom furniture is a chest of drawers, not a “chester” drawers. If your listing accurately describes the item for sale, your Uncle Chester’s stained boxers belong in the personals.
6. Please don’t list ugly, outdated furniture as retro, vintage or antique; it is simply old and ugly. Perhaps you could say “furniture even my mother-in-law couldn’t live with one more day.”
7. Please indicate the size of your bed, mattress or box spring within your listing.
8. A mattress and box spring does not a bed make; the piece of furniture upon which they rest is a bed.
9. If your mattress has disgusting evidence of bodily fluids, please take it to the dump; don’t try to sell it.
10. Don’t list the price of furniture as $1 unless you mean to sell it for $1 … and if you believe the value of the piece to be only $1, why the hell are you trying to sell it on craigslist? Please place it as free or take it to the dump.
11. A piece of furniture constructed of shaped iron is “wrought” iron, not “rod” iron.
12. When trying to sell used furniture, please don’t try to fool prospective buyers by adding a link to a website where new furniture is sold. Even if novice craigslist shoppers are taken in by this ploy, they will eventually see that your 7-year old son has been chewing on the legs of your “dinning” room chairs for seven years, and your 15-year-old Chihuahua has been pissing on your vintage “Shabby Chic” sofa for 15 years.
13. When aforementioned novice craigslist shoppers come to see the furniture, please restrain your ankle-biting son and dog.