Disorder in the Courts Part 1
Each trial has two
lawyers. The job of one is to uphold justice, and the job of the other is to
obstruct it. If an innocent man spends life in prison or a murderer walks free,
it is because one of the lawyers successfully swayed the jury and thwarted
justice. Just like our
electoral system, the judicial system assumes that everyday citizens are capable
of making good, logical decisions. Unfortunately this is a rather unrealistic
expectation. The following are some snippets of dialogue taken from actual courtroom
sessions.
ATTORNEY: What is
your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: This
myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what
ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget?
Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: How old is
your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight
or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long
has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five
years.
ATTORNEY: What was
the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said,
"Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did
that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is
Susan.
ATTORNEY: Are you
qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor,
isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it
until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually
pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The
youngest son, the twenty -year -old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's
twenty
ATTORNEY: Were you
present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you
repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: She had
three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many
were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there
any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was
your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by
whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you
describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about
medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a
male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how
many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my
autopsies are performed on dead people.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses
MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
ATTORNEY: Do you
recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy
started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.
Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was
sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Doctor,
before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you
check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you
check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it
is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you
be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his
brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could
the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is
possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.