Reality Check

Warning: Labels Part 5

This is the fifth and final installment of this collection of warning labels. I will be adding more labels as I come across them and inevitably continue to post them for some time. I have found that one resource our world never seems to run out of is stupid people. They say an idiot is born every minute. Statistically speaking, 255 people are born each minute, many of which will inevitably be idiots.

 
On a remote control for a TV:
"Not dishwasher safe."
(I found mine in the refrigerator once)

On Styrofoam packing:
"Do not eat."
(But it looks so fluffy and delicious)

On a package of dice:
"Not for human consumption."
(Only feed to animals)

From a manual for an SGI computer:
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."
(Defending Yourself In Case Of Ninja Attack In Your Office Tip 1: Tie two mice together and use as nunchucks.)

In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand."
(Trees don’t seem to stop it either)

In the instructions for an electric thermometer:
"Do not use orally after using rectally."
(Yuck)

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle:
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death”
(Guns don’t kill people, people kill people)

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
"Remove plastic before eating."
(But it’s so high in fiber)

On the instructions for a cordless phone:
"Do not put lit candles on phone."
(Sure, I do that all the time)

On the box for a car jack:
"For lifting purposes only."
(Not Intended For Bludgeoning)