Reality Check

State Laws: Arizona

Just this weekend I was telling my brother that with all the "Save the Rainforests" and "Save the Oceans" organizations, I bet we could put together a "Save the Desert" campaign as well. It seems Arizona already has laws in place to protect its cactus forests from being cut down, its bullfrogs from being bothered, its camels from being hunted, and its Native Americans from playing cards in the streets. These are a few more examples of some of the laws that were once penned in Arizona.

Hunting camels is prohibited.
(If you can find any camels in Arizona, you can't shoot them. I guess it's better safe than sorry. They have a similar law in Canada that protects Bigfoot from harm... if he exists)

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
(Under penalty of law, all criminals must wear dress-code masks while breaking the law)

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
("What you in for?" "Killing 8 people. How about you?" "... Cutting down a cactus....")

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
(They leave a nasty ring around the tub)

Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
(Native American poker games have been known to cause severe traffic jams)

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
(This is the first step in "Coming Clean")

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
(I know entire counties that would have to go to jail for this one... or they could just frown a lot)

A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".
(This is probably similar to my idea of putting up a "Yankees" baseball banner at a civil war re-enactment)

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
(If he's got the gun, you're just going to have to get it from him if you want to protect yourself)

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
(In a state like Arizona, I can actually see this law saving lives)

If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
(Thou shalt not tease cute fuzzy animals)

An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
(This was part of their campaign to prove they aren't rednecks in Arizona)

Women may not wear pants.
(Only men wear the pants in this state)

No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
(It was probably once popular, but horse manure on stairs is a serious slipping hazard)