Reality Check

Accident Reports: Part 1

Our society has many loopholes and provisions riddled throughout it to protect people from having to take responsibility for their own actions. Even when responsibility can’t be evaded, people still seem to find ways to get around accepting blame. For example, on Saturday, December 29, 2007, a man drove into oncoming traffic and came to rest with his car firmly embedded in a telephone pole. He told officials that his accident was caused by a Pterodactyl. Full Article The following are actual accident reports filed to explain what might be considered rather irresponsible behavior.

 
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
(Talk about overkill. He must really hate flies)

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
(This is why most people drive straight. They also generally try NOT to hit people)

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
(It must be one of those Russian spy cars. Few have lived to tell about them)

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
(If you’re going to attack a driver, make sure to have an escape route)

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
(Some people never remember to use their ramming signal)

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."
(He was willing to sacrifice himself to rid the world of that terrible woman. What a noble, noble man.)

"I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."
(Good writers are not necessarily good drivers)

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
(Ridding the world of one indecisive person at a time)

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
(I have to commend this one. Most people would fall asleep after the first 20 hours or so)

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."
(That’s how it is with power steering. Give it an inch, it takes you into oncoming traffic)

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
(Ahh, denial. The first step is to admit you have the tree. Also you should stay out of other people’s homes when driving)

"I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."
(Some people don’t know their own strength... and some don’t know much about glass either)

"I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash."
(After distracting the driver with his rear end, the canary fled the scene. He is still at large)

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."
(Get up, have breakfast, back out of the driveway, collide with the neighbor… Yep pretty normal morning)

"The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
(The direct cause was a big guy in a fast car with slow reflexes)