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Psychology and You

Friends and Lovers

 

 Whatever the challenges of a male female friendship in order to succeed as friends both genders have to openly and honestly negotiate exactly what their relationship will mean, whether sexual attraction is a factor and how they will deal with it as well as the mutual understanding of agreed boundaries. The friendships that survive and even do very well, after sex and attraction, are those in which the friends extensively discussed the meaning of the sexual activity and feel confident and positive about each other’s feelings. Once they got past that they could enjoy a long lasting relationship. If sex is an important part of the relationship talking about it explicitly is the best strategy for making sure the friendship survives. The issue will deteriorate if the couple try to ignored it. So it can be said that male female friendship does have something in common with romantic relationships and to make it work communication is the key.

Comments

 

Romo said:

I like your idea that honest communication is crucial to a long-lasting friendship within dating... Honest communication is probably a good tactic for any kind of social situation. This reminds me of a lady I play Scrabble with, who told me about meeting a nice man at a social gathering... He asked for her phone number because he "enjoyed her company." She took this comment at face value in part because she thought everyone knew she was gay (it turned out he did not know). This led to a good story on her part, but much confusion on his. Eventually they cleared it up and these days they really do enjoy one another-s friendship.

February 20, 2008 11:32 AM

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