PONDERINGS

Capital Punishment: For or Against?

 I've been write a research paper on Capital Punishment and have found a lot of really great arguments. I'm curious to see what your opinions are on this matter.

 Personally, I'm against Capital Punishment.
 

You Have Two Cows...

 

Socialism

You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

 

Communism

You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

Fascism

You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

Bureaucracy

You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

 

Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate

You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy

You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

 

A CHRISTIAN:

You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

 

A SOCIALIST:

You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

 

A REPUBLICAN:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

 

A DEMOCRAT:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

 

A FASCIST:

You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    <    

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 

A MEXICAN CORPORATION:

You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

 

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them >for others.

 

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

 

A TALIBAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and they >both die. You blame the godless American infidels and the Jews.

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.

 

10 things to do in an elevator

1) Drag a desk inside and when the door opens ask "Do you have an appointment?"

2) Meow occasionally

3) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

4) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

5) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

6) Sell girl scout cookies

7) Offer name takes to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down

8) Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming"

9) Dress up as a bellboy and ask them what floor they want and press the wrong one. When they try to correct you, spit, "are you trying to say I can't do my job?!"

10) Let your cell phone ring.... don't answer it.

 

If you have anymore please share. :) 

 

Childhood memory

When I was really little I had this HUGE stuffed dog with long black and white hair.

 

I would comb him and sit on him and pretty much take him EVERYWHERE. I absolutely adored this toy. And as everyone knows... toys that are adored by little kids get very dirty. So, naturally, my dad went to get the dog cleaned.. problem was, the hair came out and instead of looong hair for me to comb.. it was short. :'(   

Thinking I wasn't going to notice, he came walking through the door with my demolished dog... and I noticed immediately! I was SOOOO upset.. Ever since then, he has been giving me toys that either resemble the dog, or are just plain big like the dog. But he'll never be able to replace him... not EVER! 

*HUMPH!*

This is my collection of dogs...

 

 

Burn... that's people who don't tan do.

 I spent probably 20 minutes out in the sun with no sun block. BURN.

 I have to start carrying sub block around with me now that it's burn season. :(  No cancer for me please.

If you can relate, speak up.
 

 

Somewhere out there is a tree that hates me...

It's allergy season! WEWT!

I'm not one to get allergies. Usually I can get through spring pretty easily, but this year it's killing me. I have the itchy throat and the watery eyes.. but the worst part of it all are the massive headaches.

Pollinating foes...

Spring: Trees
Early Summer: grass and weeds
Autumn: weeds are still potent

Trees clearly hate me...

If you are having issues with the seasons, I give you permission to rant. :) 

Posted: Apr 18 2008, 11:17 AM by Krazy_Koala | with 2 comment(s) |
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Memories
You never know what memories people treasure most. When I was younger I remember playing "treasure hunt" with the next door neighbor kids. I had the most fun doing that, we would play for hours just hiding toys around the yard and trying to find them. That was one of my best child hood memories. What are some good memories you'd like to share?
Angry Turtle

 Today I was in the car with my step mom when we saw a turtle in the middle of the road. My step mom tried to pick it up but it started hissing and trying to rip her eyes out... maybe not that dramatic but she definitely couldn't hold him much longer and when she finally put him down he scurried under the car. We tried poking it with a stick but it wouldn't come out until finally a kid came out of one of the 3 cars waiting behind us and pretty much shoved the turtle out from under the car with one hard jab from the stick.. If this turtle wasn't angry before... it is now.


 

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What's your favorite classic computer game?

Tetris is one of my favs! Along with snood. I remember for a while my mom and I would play tetris and when ever we beat each others score we would print it out and hang it up on the bulletin board. It was SO addicting and I don't think I have ever been more competitive.

 

 What's your favorite?
 

Say NO to deer and fermented fruit!

 The other day I was driving home from my mom's house when out of no where a deer hits me in the passenger side. Now, I've heard of people hitting deer while driving down the road, but never have I heard of anyone getting hit by a deer. Every time I tell people, they automatically think I messed up my wording.. well let me tell you.... THE DEER HIT ME!  I immediately pulled over and a kind man helped me look for the deer to make sure it wasn't injured. Once we were sure that the deer was no where in the area, we parted ways and I drove home. Once home, I took a good look at my car. Unfortunately the deer left a good amount of damage to my car.. 

I know deer like to play risky games with their friends and family and see who can cross the street in traffic without getting hit... but looking at how that deer just bounced off my car like a silly goose, I'm starting to think that deer actually try to cause as much damage as possible to cars.. If I'm right, then this deer definitely takes the cake. I thought about this further and came to the conclusion that this deer was indeed drunk. I've seen people do some super stupid stuff when they're drunk, so I researched and found that there is, indeed, a problem with drunken deer in our area... here are the facts..

When young deer find themselves on their own.. away from the restrictions of The Man.. they start to explore their boundaries and in some cases resort    to the comfort of fermented fruit...

 


Because of their new found freedom they sometimes don't know what their limit is and find themselves in embarrassing situations.

 

 

Not unlike college students, the deer find that putting their own friends in dangerous situations can be fairly amusing. 

 

In my case...  the deer obviously dared each other to run into cars to try and create the most damage... just to shake things up...

 

  Think about ways to help these deer to find a less extreme way to explore their new found freedoms... in the mean time, watch out... drunken deer are all around us...


 This would be the equivalent of a kegger...   Here we see deer gathering together to binge on fermented fruit.

 

 

 

 

Lunch...

Today for lunch I'm enjoying a peanut butter banana sandwich with honey along with gummy fruit snacks and a juice box. My step mom made me this lunch this morning right before taking me to school because my car got hit by a drunk deer. Being that I'm a high school senior, this could be embarrassing.. but I really don't mind. I don't have to worry about gas or buying my lunch. Not to mention... I  LOVE peanut butter banana and honey sandwiches. Yum!

 

What do you do for lunch?

Did THAT just happen?

 I am the oldest out of 4 kids. There are two brothers and one sister. I also work at an after school program where I spend a good 3 hours watching elementary school kids. So, needless to say, I have my share of fun when it comes to snot nosed kids. Stick out tongue

 
 

 Anyone who has kids, is a kid, has younger siblings, watches after kids, or remembers what it was like to be a kid knows what funny funny things come out of their mouths besides drool and teeth... not that that's funny or anything. Because of this knowledge that we all have, you probably know that being around kids for long periods of time can ultimately change your perspective on life. You can no longer look at broccoli without thinking that they look like little trees, or you don't think it's the biggest deal to have something on your shirt because as soon as your change your shirt you know you'll spill something else on it, or maybe the Dora the Explorer theme song is actually kinda catchy if you give it a chance. Which is how you know when some people have kids or are around kids maybe a little too often.


 

Which brings me to parents.. I have this on going joke with a friend of mine which inspired the title of this blog. "Did THAT just happen?" is what we say when one of our parents does something particularly weird. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. This weirdness is a clear side effect of having kids.


 

Another inspiration for this post is my youngest brother. He's about 3 going on 4 and is a TRIP! For the past couple of days he has been carrying around this 5 pound rock. I walked over to the computer  and he was under the table with this rock singing it a song. So I sit down, well aware that he's under the table with the rock and I ask him what he's doing.. He replies " I'm playing with this BIG rock!" ( in the cutest little three year old voice possible) So of course I ask him "what kind of rock is it?" and I can't say I was surprised at his answer.... " a BIIIIIIG rock". Next thing you know... I'm drawing a face on the rock and helping him name it. He really is adorable.. I love him so much ( referring to my brother not the rock).

 

Things we think but do not say...

I'm curious to know other peoples experience on this topic.




I'm not one to keep entirely to myself when it comes to opinion, but there are times when if I tell someone exactly how I feel that it will either have a good or bad effect. So because of the small chance of it being bad, I don't say it so I don't cause some kind of conflict or ruin something I already have. I know everyone has done it before. Sometimes it's wrong, sometimes it's funny, but it's something we all do.

You have a friend who thinks they are your best friend, but you don't quite like them as much as they like you. awkward... Do you say anything when they want to get best friend bracelets? That might be a little extreme, but you get the point. Or, you like someone a lot and you don't want to tell them because you're afraid you'll get rejected and lose your friendship, also awkward.

Like I said, I'm curious to know your experiences on this topic, please share. :)

Childhood Dream Come True!

Do you remember the time when you liked the box more than the present? I would draw on the box and live in it or even make it into a car... It was certainly the most exciting part about getting gifts. :)



The creators of the Scion xB clearly had this childhood memory in mind when they came up with the clean cut design for this car. Behold, the childhood dream come true! Now, instead of walking around in a box, you can actually drive it. It's features take driving a box to a new level. Stability control, air conditioning, cruise control, power windows and locks, steering-wheel-mounted radio controls, an iPod adapter, an auxiliary audio jack, front side airbags, and curtain airbags... everything from stiffer springs for the suspension to cargo-bin nets, making the Scion xB the coolest box to drive.