You Have Two Cows...
Socialism
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
Communism
You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with
milk.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Corporate
You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of
four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.
Democracy
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must
sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
A CHRISTIAN:
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the
tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it
to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You
join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
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A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and
milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You
take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
them >for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares
bankruptcy.
A TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside"
and they >both die. You blame the
godless American infidels and the Jews.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
