I was recently offered the opportunity to receive funding for the summer to take some intensive classes at an institute at a university that is about four hours away from where I live. Although this would be a great opportunity, and it would be great to get to list another "recipient of fellowship X" on my curriculum vita, there are some pretty significant logistical difficulties that have just made it an impossibility to accept the award. A lot of the reason that going to this summer program is just going to work out revolves around money. Sure, I can get funding to attend the institute, and I get a pretty decent stipend for my living expenses for the summer, but it's not enough of a stipend to pay for me to have a place to live in two different cities, as well as pay for all my other expenses, like my car payment, auto insurance, credit card payment, cell phone, cable television, ....you get the picture, right? Anyways, had I been at school just a year ago, the story would have been a lot different. The institute had been held at the university that I attend for the last two years before this year, so it would have been a perfect opportunity to attend. I wouldn't have had to worry about finding a place to live elsewhere and paying double for everything. On top of all these living/living expenses issues, I also have a lot of other responsibilities that wouldn't allow me to be able to attend. I run the publications group here, and I work in a lab as well, so I would have to end up skirting my responsibilities in these two areas just to attend this institute for seven weeks. And even on top of that, I would run into problems regarding leaving a few days early in order to attend my brother's wedding at the end of July. All in all, it's just not going to happen.

I do know a few people from my school who are finding a way to attend though. When I've heard about the hoops that they are having to jump through in order to attend, it definitely reassured me that I had made the correct decision to hold off. One girl in particular, a colleague of mine, was just recounting the story of her summer preparations to me today. She and her husband just moved to town less than a year ago and ended up buying a house here. Having gone through their own little set of issues that accompany most house purchases, they had just finally gotten the chance to sit down, relax, and enjoy the house that they had purchased and put so much effort into. Now, in order to stay together for the summer, and for her to attend the summer institute, they have to travel the four hours away to look for a place to rent for seven weeks. That means that, not only will they be paying their mortgage payment for the summer, but they will also be paying rent. Add that to double electricity and whatever else they will need for a few months, and you can see that it is going to be a huge hassle. I have a sneaking suspicion that she and her husband are getting some financial help from the parents on one side of the family or the other in order to make the whole arrangement work. I just can't possibly see how two graduate students could do so otherwise...without some kind of miracle. It must be nice to be able to just pick up the phone and call to ask mom and dad for the money to do something like this. It's not that my parents aren't one hundred percent supportive of me and my schooling, but there is no way that I'm going to call and ask them for money at this point in my life or my education. I'm twenty-six years old after all.

So yes, going along with the title of my post, as I've explained it, this is what I won't be doing this summer. I won't be driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to go about picking up my life and moving to a different state for seven weeks out of the summer. I won't be paying double the rent. I won't be leaving all my wordly possessions, and I surely won't be leaving my other responsibilities behind me to go on what would really be a seven week long academic vacation. I think that it's going to be just fine in the long run. It would have been great to go to the institute, but I will be able to accomplish many other great things over the summer months staying put right where I am. I'll even have extra time to devote to writing well-researched posts for all of you to read. That's another responsibility that I'm not comfortable giving up. I've gotten quite used to writing to you all on a regular basis, and I would have to take some time off from doing so if I left. There would be no internet at home after all...because there is just no way that I'm going to pay for double the cable internet costs for a summer!