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April 2006 - Posts
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I've spent a lot of time recently on YouTube.com and I've seen a lot of really shitty bands. These shitty bands "cover" (I use the term loosely) songs I know and that really pisses me off. I've played in my fair share of cover bands...Led Zeppelin...Hair 80s Mix...generic Office Party Style. And I've played hundeds of covers with every type of band you can imagine. BUT WE ACTUALLY LEARNED THE SONGS. Like, all the parts. All the lyrics. All the solos. We didn't *** around like these hacks. How can I tell they're hacks?
I'm not a great guitarist. I admit it. I'm an awesome rock drummer but that aside, I know guitar well enough that I could be the rhythm guitarist of most bands. I'm not a shredder but I can all the damn chords in all their inversions--enough to know when I see someone else playing a song I know if they're playing it right or not. Onto Weezer's Say It Ain't So.
The chords are: c#-, G#, A, E. Now, if you can't bar chords DON'T PLAY THIS SONG. It's not like you have to go flying around the fretboard to get these. c#-,G# and A are all right next to each other and you can easily slide from the barred A to E. Piece of cake. Yet I see these assholes who have the audacity to film themselves and put it online using NO BARRED CHORDS. How is this even possible? Oh that's right, they don't know how to play the songs. What REALLY made me lose it was the bridge. The bridge of the song: B, Bma7/A#, E, G (preferrably bar G). Again, I see these hacks playing no barred chords. How do you possibly play a Bma7/A# without a bar? Even with a bar it's a little stretch but unless you've got foot-long fingers there is absolutely no way you could play this without it.
So if you're in a cover band and you can't play it note for note, DON'T PLAY THE SONG. If you CAN play it note for note, then take as much artistic license as you want; you've earned it.
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Is there anything better than a meaty bass line being played by a great bassist? I don't think so. I like it when it's all rumbly where I can picture said star aimlessly roving in the back of the stage twitching with coke and keeping his head down. I guess they don't have to be stoned but surely it must help. Speaking of which, Kate Moss' boyfriend injected some passed-out groupie with heroin. That's why I'm not a groupie.
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Why do nice girls like bad boys? Because deep down everyone is bad! Not necessarily murder-bad but wanting to be rebellious and free-wheeling. Look at me saying "free-wheeling" like I'm some 80 year old. Hah!
It's hard to be a bad boy. To be that careless. To be that...rugged. I don't have it in me. Not that I've got flowers and sunshine streaming from my ass but I don't ride a motorcycle and don't have any tatoos. And don't want to ride a motorcycle or get a tatoo. I don't think it makes me a bad person. And that's the problem--girls like bad boys.
It's not really a problem for me per se because I've been in a relationship for three years and aren't on the prowl. But if I was I'd have to invent some bad boy image to attract all the honeys.
I had nothing to say today and I'm sorry.
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This is the single Most Offensive Thing In The History Of The Universe. That's right--it's U2, arguably the single worst rock band to ever exist, doing an a capella cover of Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. I know, I know, it wasn't technically by Led Zeppelin but they made it famous and that's what really matters. It would have been nice of Bono (Bono sucks!) could have at least learned the melodic contour. With such a repetitive ostinanto it's up to the lead singer to establish the phrases and structure and he does neither. And those self-serving lyrics...wow. BONO SUCKS.
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Here's a follow-up to a previous post from a while back. Here are some more easy songs to play on the guitar. I'll write out the chords/tabs for you if you want--just leave a comment and tell me which ones.
Neil Young - Keep on Rockin' in the Free World
Bob Dylan - Tambourine Man
Janis Joplin - Me and Bobby McGee (REALLY easy)
Canned Heat - Going Down To The Country
Weezer - The Good Life
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You know what I hate? People that deny themselves the opportunity to express themselves. "Oh, I can't draw worth a darn!" Bullshit. Well, you're probably no Kandinsky but surely you have some sort of expressive ability aside from three paragraph persuasive essays in English class. It's truly one of those things where the journey is more important that the destination. It's not about the huge clay ashtray you make, it's about how you made it. No one cares that it looks like ***. And if someone puts you down for something you make, just give them a driving knifehand to the face and ask them if they could do any better.
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Once upon a time, while the intro was playing someone would sing "nobody knows where we might end up" but apparently those aren't the real lyrics to the Grey's Anatomy them song.
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
I'm gonna send him to outer space,
To find another race.
I'm gonna send him to outer space,
To find another race.
...
I'll take your brain to another dimension.
I'll take your brain to another dimension.
I'll take your brain to another dimension.
(hold it!)
Pay close attention
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
Cosy In the Rocket
I slip another smile
In your pocket
My heart is racing to you
Like a rocket
WALK ON THE MOON!
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Yesterday I left work to go home and poop. On my way back I heard on NPR these Mongolian Tube Throat Singers. Apparently they play with this lute like instrument and over time match the low tones by extending their throats and bodies and heads into this "tube". It was really cool. Kind of like a human didgeridoo. As it turned out Chris had also heard of them and we're going to try to find a CD. Speaking of Chris, Jamie and I hung out with him and Michael last night. I'm going to be really sad when they leave. I remember how hard it was when I left Wisconsin to come to Florida and I'm happy that they at least have each other.
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I'm really lucky. I only live about 1/2 mile from my job. It's about a 30 second drive. Last night we were playing poker and someone suggested I walk. I told them to go to hell, I was walking anywhere. Now that gas prices are up over $4 in Beverly Hills surely Tallahassee, Florida will not be far behind. Maybe walking coming spring and fall isn't such a bad idea. At least riding a bike. The problem is that I'd have to wake up extra early and I like waking up a half hour before I need to be at work. It feels good. Real good. I really feel badly for the people like my dad that have to drive an hour each way. Nothing like dipping into retirement to pay for gas.
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Apparently people were yelling at the Chinese president yesterday. Maybe they don't realize this but China owns us. Seriously. They own so much of our debt that if they called it in on a single day it would bankrupt the entire country. Why make them mad? Why not slowly buy back our own debt? (haha, what a concept...buying your own debt)
Here's what I want to know: the US has pledged to defend Taiwan. China owns the US and wants to own Taiwan. When China attacks what is the US going to do? My guess is this--some great news shots that make it look like we're attacking and then letting China take Taiwan. China owns us! Once they become democratic it's all over. Mark my words.
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Ok listen. I don't care how brown your eyes are--THIS SONG IS NOT ABOUT YOU. Man, I love old sing-a-long songs in bars but I really hate this one. Every drunk bimbo there is all screaming "THIS SONG IS ABOUT ME!!!!!". No it's not. Everyone with brown eyes has some horrible love of this song. I have brown eyes but I don't think it's about me. Man, I hate that song.
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It's come to my attention two players have been taken into custody in the Duke rape case. Since my girlfriend is a sexual violence counselor I think I am safe to write this entry.
What really sucks is when the Duke players get exonerated from this, which they inevitably will, then it will once again make the situation look all okay and leave even more doubt in the minds of America that this woman was really raped. As Jamie frequently says "No means no" and it doesn't matter if you're a stripper or not. Apparently 1/3 females in the United States has some sort of sexual assault in their lifetime. You probably think this is total bullshit like I did. I came from a nice family in a decidedly middle class neighborhood...went to good schools...typically associated with other elitests like myself. But oh oh oh, it's still 1/3. Trust me. It is. And that's sick. And scary.
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I'm not totally into Grey's Anatomy BUT the theme song is kind of catchy. It's called Cosy in the Rocket by some group called Psapp. I'd never heard of them before (not that I'm the pinnacle of pop culture). My friend Chris has them as the ringtone on his phone. Sometimes I'll call him when I want to hear it then hang up right away. I know, I know. I'm a bad friend.
You can download an MP3 of it here
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Yesterday Jamie dragged me to TJMaxx and I saw no less than four people singing You're Still The One when it came on the stereo. The first girl I saw caught me off guard because I was expecting anyone singing--let alone that loudly. But she was. Next was this older couple singing more quietly but still definitely audible. Finally there was a guy about my age with his mom. Weird. It's not even that good of a song.
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Last night Jamie and I went out to eat with my freelancing-coworker Jerry. Jerry's about 30 years older than I am and has a much different perspective, naturally, on just about everything that I do. I should mention he's probably one of the three smartest people I've ever known. Anyway, we were discussing American Idol and the question came up: If Ella Fitzgerald were alive today would she make it on American Idol?
In my most humble opinion I think she's the greatest female singer of all time. I can't think of anyone really in her league. However, I don't think she would have made it on American Idol. First, she was a large black woman. Sometimes large black women make the first couple cuts but rarely have they proceeded deep into the show. Secondly, she was older by the time she was really tearing it up. If a 30 year old Ella had appeared she would have never gotten enough of our extremely music-savvy and critical youth to vote for her.
How sad is it though that the greatest female singer of all time wouldn't have made it on American Idol. Pretty darn sad; it says a lot about who we are as a country.
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