In short, good luck! The very best way to prepare a house for sale is to tear down the existing structure and to rebuild it to resemble the Taj Mahal – gold plated, of course. This economy has become the worst climate for many things, like foreclosures, credit card problems, and selling houses. There is absolutely no trust in any of our institutions or citizens. Even institutions don’t trust other institutions. I know that the foreclosure/housing market problems are the worst since the 1930’s depression (thanks to Clinton’s meddling – he’s really ruined the economy for millions of people); we have never seen a worse real estate situation since the great depression.

Okay, so we know where the overall problems have originated. Now, what can we do about it? It is just bad luck that people have to sell in a period of depression; what you paid for a house is not what you are going to get for the same house, regardless of condition. And, buyers are spoiled, they think that they should take advantage of the times and to demand (not ask) that everything about a house be in near perfect condition.

I was fortunate to sell my house recently. I sold it “as is”, meaning (and all you real estate folks out there, listen up) that the building is “what it is” and that anyone desiring to buy it will take what they see before their eyes. In other words, whatever items that may not be up to par are taken as seen, the owner need not fix anything. That is what “as is” means. Today, however, the English language has lost some of its meaning. Now “as is” means that you must fix whatever anybody demands to be fixed – or you don’t sell the house. Why even check the box that says “as is”? The spoiled consumers, the Walmartized, Disney dementia people who are completely irresponsible just whine until they get what they want. As I mentioned, having to sell a house in this economy is an introduction to Hell. But then, there’s a bright side. If you are successful and can actually get your house sold, you can stop worrying about what idiot is going to look at your abode and find fault with it. Now it is the other guy’s problem. And, if God is just, He will cause the people who took advantage to suffer equal or worse fates in their own lives; one can only hope.

So, let’s say that you are going to sell your house. What should you do to try to get someone to buy it? First thing, try to get the best realtor you can find. If you know someone, or have worked with a good realtor before, you can be confident that the person will have your best interests in mind. One of the things that is important to me – and should be for everyone – is to be kept informed on a regular basis. Good news or bad, the client ought to be kept up to date on the attempts to sell the house. There should be a well thought out plan and it should be adhered to vigorously. You should receive, in writing, all information on inspections, contracts, addendums, etc. concerning the property in a timely manner. There should not be any excuses at all. Excuses are insults to the client. They indicate no respect from the realtor and they give the client a feeling of being lost; they never know what’s going on with the sale of their house.

Second, try to anticipate anything that anybody could object to in your house. A good way to look at this is to imagine that you are the buyer of this house. What would you look for? What would you object to? Are there things that can’t be altered? Then go about fixing what you can to please you – the prospective buyer. Remember that any inspector’s job is to find problems. If he can’t find a problem it looks like he didn’t do his job. Expect that, no matter how you fix whatever you can find, there are always going to be things that you overlooked, or that an inspector will find, whether he invents the problem or not. Also, understand that when an inspector makes a list of problems, that these are suggestions, not necessarily mandates. In the correct world, suggestions are negotiating points, “I’ll do this if you do that in return.” In today’s backwards world, it is completely lopsided. A suggestion is seen as a demand. So, think in terms of fixing things that no person in their right mind would fix.

Third, expect problems where none exist. For example, electrical wiring is an important element in any house; one errant spark on faulty wiring and the whole house could burn down. But, if the wiring is okay, why say that it is not? In my house, which was built somewhere back in the 1940’s or 1950’s, there was some wiring in the attic space that was from the original building of the house. It was not hooked up to anything. Both ends had been disconnected many years ago; it was totally defunct. In the inspection report these wires were noted as live and functioning and that they were no longer up to code. They had to be replaced with up to date wiring. I pointed out to the inspector that the wires were not being used but he was insistent that a licensed electrician had to come to change the wiring and bring it up to code. Well, I figured that he must know what he is talking about; I must be in error. I contacted a licensed electrician, told him the story, and hired him to make everything right. I went with him to inspect the wiring and he showed me that the wires were not hooked up and not functioning; they were disconnected on both ends. Further, that the correct wiring had indeed been installed. Okay, so anyone can make a mistake, but under the circumstances, this was a whopper. And it cast dispersions on me and my house. The situation caused me to spend hundreds of dollars on something that was incorrectly diagnosed.

In short, don’t look for logic or common sense in house selling. If you can hold on until a better time (a seller’s market instead of a buyer’s market) then you are wise to do so. In my case, I weighed all the options and my decision was to sell now because I want to get on with the next phase in my life. Renting the house would have been a problem because most (not all) renters do not respect the house that they rent and you (the landlord/owner) will be constantly running to fix something that the tenant ought to fix if they were honest. I used to rent houses a few years back. Never again. If you are lucky enough to find a good tenant, then hold on to them. Unfortunately, the majority of renters have no self-respect and, therefore, have no respect for the property of others. They will destroy your house, disappear, and leave you to repair everything.