Every once in a while something of worth comes across my desk. Unlike most moronic things that I see in this society which depict people's pathetic attempts at sensationalism, that which I will share today is definitely worthy and is presented in its entirety for those who are capable of understanding it. If the following information is new to you, gentle reader, then I feel gratified that it was me who spake it for you. You will note that the following is an obituary. Removing your hat while reading this will show proper respect.

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.

Obituary - Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and, maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn - and quit trying to redistribute my income to benefit the world!) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harrassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. (Those terrible weapons of personal defense...)

First there was the hysteria of global freezing; now it's global warming... Anthing to cause fear and to subjugate the masses! We're told to clean up our air and, despite studies to the contrary, build subsidized mass transit which causes even more foul air/CO₂ and particulates.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three step-brothers: I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

So says Sam Post.