This time a month ago I was still recovering from the nausea brought on by a Cohiba cigar and the amount of money my fiancé paid to have her hair braided. We had just spent a day in Nassau and we were back on the Carnival Destiny, still giddy to be on our third Rock Boat with so much more music to be heard and fun to be had.

It’s been a month since we set sail from Miami, poised to spend a week full of concerts, cold drinks and late night buffets. What nauseates me now is the thought of having to wait eleven more months to experience The Rock Boat all over again. To steal a quote from my friend Jill, “From the outside looking in you cannot understand it. From the inside looking out you cannot explain it.” That being said, I will take a stab at trying to explain what The Rock Boat means to me and why it’s one of the greatest vacations you’ll barely remember.

First of all, it’s not just a cruise. Yes, it takes place on a cruise ship. Yes, you set sail and there are ports of call. This, however, is almost secondary to what is, in essence, a 5 day music festival. I think most Rock Boaters would agree that even if the ship never left port, it would still one of the best experiences ever. There is the rush of seeing your favorite band or performer live for the umpteenth time. There is the thrill of discovering an artist you’ve never heard before and fall in love with their music. There are the heart opening moments of hearing the stories behind the lyrics and getting a glimpse at the real lives of people whose voices come out of your speakers at home. And that’s just the music part.

For me, the greatest part of The Rock Boat is getting to share and celebrate that experience with literally hundreds of friends and acquaintances. The first day on The Boat is like a family reunion, seeing faces you haven’t seen in a while, most of them since the previous year’s Boat. Each passing day is filled with encounters that can last an hour or last a lifetime. Strangers become neighbors and moments become bonds. There is a sense of belonging and a feeling of camaraderie that unifies all passengers into one small, floating nation of music worshiping crazies.

There is also, of course, the booze. Now, I don’t want to paint the picture of all Rock Boaters as being a gang of individuals on hiatus from AA, but I think that description definitely puts the image within the neighborhood of reality. On TRB VIII, which sailed in January 2008, Rock Boaters broke – or shall I correctly say shattered? – Carnival’s single-day record for alcohol sales. Perhaps the best way to describe it is insane. Personally, it takes me about 2 months to have my liver recuperate from The Boat. This happens to coincide almost perfectly with St. Patty’s Day, but that’s neither here nor there.

I honestly believe the only way to truly understand and appreciate The Rock Boat is to experience it firsthand, and I can tell you without an equivocation it is a first rate experience. From the Sixthman staff (Sixthman puts on TRB every year), to the Carnival crew, to the many smiling and joyous faces you will see everywhere you turn, The Rock Boat truly is an incredible experience. So as I sit here staring at my calendar in not-so-patient anticipation for next year’s Boat, I hope you consider making your face one of the many joyous ones I will see onboard.

 
 Check out The Rock Boat.

As we watch this college football bowl season come to a close, we prepare ourselves for the continued debate that is sure to follow.  Thanks to Utah’s recent thumping of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl and the still memorable defeat of Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl at the hands of Boise State, the discussion for greater inclusion of non-BCS teams has grown hotter than ever.   I am still appalled by college football elitists that cling to the notion that schools without tradition don’t deserve a shot at the title.

As a fan of the ACC, there is no doubt in my mind this year’s Utah squad would have reined Supreme in that conference.  Can you honestly name a team in all of the ACC, Big East or PAC 10 – with the exception of USC – that would be favored today in a game against Utah?  Heck, Florida versus Utah on a neutral field would see the Gators favored by perhaps no more than 3 points, and that’s only because Florida possesses more raw talent.

It’s time for a change in college football.  No, not a playoff system.  I happen to agree with the notion the entire season is itself a playoff system.  Otherwise, Southern Cal would or Texas would be in the BCS title game (and we’ll leave Florida and Oklahoma’s respective 1-losses to the side for now).  What we need is a return to the old with a step forward to the future. 

I need to first begin by clarifying my proposed BCS overhaul is not an original idea of mine.  Rather it’s a hodgepodge of ideas and arguments that I’ve heard over the years and again, most recently, in the last couple of weeks as the discussion about college football rages on.  Yes, some nuances are uniquely my own, but overall it’s really just a summary of a concept I think can lay the foundation to a system that will give us all what we want; an undisputed national champion.

The first step is to level the playing field.  This means that ALL conference must play a conference championship.  Either the NCAA drops their incredibly ridiculous requirement of 12 teams in a conference in order to have a conference game or we make the existing ‘smaller’ conferences bigger.   Move Utah and Boise State, two consistent programs in the past 5 years (49-14 and 55-9, respectively), into the now PAC 12.  Force Notre Dame to stop living in the past, drop their NBC contract and join the Big 10.  No need to rename the conference given that A) there already exists a Big 12 Conference and B) they’ve lived with the name and 11 teams for 18 years.  The Big East could fold in several respectable teams from both the MAC and C-USA and perhaps change their name to the Big Least.

The next step is to eliminate pre-season rankings.  Nothing does more to stack the deck for or against a team like pre-season rankings.  This is where the notion of tradition and big names really comes into play.  Writers give credit to teams with a large amount of returning starters or highly rated freshman classes.  In the end, it’s all a guessing game.  Where would Utah have played had they started the season ranked in the top 10 as opposed to unranked in both the Coaches and AP poll?  Here are some teams ranked ahead of the Utes in early September: Clemson, Kansas, BYU, Illinois, Tennessee and USF.  I say hold off on rankings until after week 5 of the college football season.

All BCS teams would have to play at least 3 non-conference games against other BCS schools.  The conference versus conference schedules would be rotated, much in the same manner the NFL does with it’s inter-conference scheduling, and BCS teams would not be allowed to schedule tune-up games against the likes of East Tennessee State or Tulane (please note the self deprecation in that comment). 

The winner of each of the BCS conferences (Big Least, Big Ten, Big XII, ACC, SEC and PAC 12) would earn an automatic bid with the remaining two spots awarded as at-large berths.  In the event three teams from the same conference finish with a better record and ranked higher than the champion from another conference (as we saw in this year's Big XII), the bowl committee would have the choice to select the higher ranked team for their respective game.  It’s also important that each BCS conference use the same formula for determining a champion (once again see this year's Big XII). 

Finally, move all the BCS bowl games back to January 1.  Yes, I know this presents a TV scheduling fiasco.  I also admit that every several years you will have a major conflict with the NFL.   Nevertheless, all four BCS bowls would be played on one, colossal judgment day.  Then, two of the four winners would be selected to play the following week in a ‘Plus One’ championship game.  The two teams selected would be determined using a complex formula which includes the AP and Coaches poll, strength of schedule, margin of victory in their bowl game, and fan factor.  That’s right, fan factor.  Borrowing from the insanely popular American Idol, a component of what determines the participants in my Plus One national championship would be fan voting.   I can see it already.  “Text G8RLVR to 4567 to see your Florida Gators in the title game.”  On thing is for certain: the TV networks and wireless service providers would be all over this idea!

I admit my idea is flawed at so many levels but you have to admit, it'a a lot better than the BCS we have today.  

 2008 came and went and it was time for me to usher in the New Year with a traditional hangover and an all-too-early wake up call.  You’d think I’d have the common sense to either not push the limit of New Years Eve festivities or not plan to attend the first New Year’s Day bowl game – with an 11:00 AM kickoff, no less – but I think you will soon come to find that I am not necessarily a sensible person.

That position, however, does not hold true when it comes to fashion sense at sporting games.  As an avid sports fan, I’ve attended my fair share of sporting events and have seen my vision go blurry from watching countless hours of sports on Saturdays and Sundays ….. and Mondays and the occasional Thursday night.  I have also made my fair share of comments regarding fans and what I deem an obvious violation of fan attire etiquette.

Although women have, since the beginning of time, cornered the market on fashion sensibility, I maintain that men have carved out a nice little niche when it comes to defining what is acceptable sports fan attire and what is the equivalent of a fashion personal foul.  So it absolutely blows my mind that I find the overwhelming and vast majority of offenders to the sports dress code to be guys.

For those of you scratching your head right now and wondering why you should continue reading, let me present to you an overview of the universal sports dress code.

The fundamental foundation for wearing team colors to a sporting event is you must wear colors for one of the two teams playing in that game.  If you’re going to a Cubs-Cardinals game, wear either Cubs or Cardinals gear.  That’s it, plain and simple.  Just because you’re going to a baseball game does not mean you get to wear your San Diego Padres throwback jersey, unless of course you’re actually going to see the San Diego Padres.

There are varying degrees to which you can violate this rule, and these degrees are analogous to penalties in football.  A 5 yard penalty is not as offensive as a 10 yard penalty and so on.  

The following faux pas are still in violation of the code, but in the grand scheme of things not that big a deal:

•    Wearing colors of another team within the same sport.  An example is the guy who wears his New England Patriots jersey to a Jets-Dolphins game.  He’s not there to support either of the two teams playing, but rather to boast the dynastic superiority his team has had over the two others in the last decade.   This is also tolerated when you’re attending a game in person but will be attending a viewing party for your team later (as is usually the case with New Years Day bowls, etc.)

•    Wearing a non-active player jersey.  This is when someone gets the team colors correct, but doesn’t realize the player whose jersey he’s wearing hasn’t played for that team in 5 years.  This leads to a subset of the fundamental rule that dictates once a player from your team either retires or is traded, you can no longer wear that player’s jersey in public.  Bite the bullet and go get a new one.  Official throwback jerseys do create a bit of a grey area, but the simple rule of thumb is if you cheered for a player as a grown adult, then it’s NOT a throwback jersey.

There are, however, more egregious violations of the code.

•    Wearing colors for a team from a different sport.  It’s wholly unacceptable to go to a New York Rangers game wearing a Yankees hat.  Leave it at home or get a new hat.  This rule also includes going to a college event with colors for the local pro team.  You can’t go watch the Temple Owls play hoops while sporting your Sixers gear.
 
•    Wearing colors for a team from a different city altogether.  Derived from the rule above, this is specific to the moron that wears a Minnesota Vikings jersey to a Duke basketball game or the guy who wears his FSU apparel to go watch the Braves.

The possible scenarios by which the sports dress code can be violated are virtually limitless, as is proved on an almost daily basis at venues all across our country.  I think it’s every sports dude’s responsibility to keep his buddies in check so as to not get flagged for wearing the wrong threads.  As for me, I need to go make room in my closet for my new Chad Pennington jersey …. right next to the Dan Marino, Jason Taylor and Zach Thomas jerseys I can no longer wear.