My kids are coming off their Spring Break and it got me to thinking
about the wonderful childhood memories I have from when I was out of
school. Those days were glorious. I’d wake up, watch back-to-back
episodes of ‘Family Ties’, and my mom would make me her world famous
(i.e. the world inside my head) egg and cheese sandwich (two of them,
actually). Then ‘The Price is Right’ would come on and I’d be mesmerized
by my mom’s ability to know the price of EVERYTHING!
One of my favorite TPIR games was always
Plinko.
I would be so consumed by how contestants would stand there and ponder
the exact, perfect location of where to drop the chip so that it would
land where they wanted it to. Even at an early age, I quickly realized
the game of Plinko was simply a metaphor for life itself; random
supersedes planning and there are no guarantees in life.
As I was
perusing the Internet today, it came to my attention today is World
Down Syndrome Day. As a result of my perusing, I came across two blogs,
both by mothers with a child with Down Syndrome, both retelling their
stories of being pregnant and how they dealt with the idea of having a
child with an extra chromosome.
This, again, got me to thinking
of when my ex-wife was pregnant with our children. Both times we were
asked by her OB if we wanted a test to screen for abnormalities or
possible birth defects. Twice we told him, “thanks, but no” as it
wouldn’t matter either way. Termination of the pregnancy was never an
option, so the screening would simply be a waste of time for all
involved.
Both blogs I read today touched on the conversation of
terminating a pregnancy where the parents became aware there was an
issue with the child. In the first blog, both parents started down the
path of having an abortion until something made them change their mind; a
decision they would celebrate given the beautiful child they had as a
result. In the second blog, the mother was not aware of her child having
Down Syndrome. In fact, her pre-natal test had ruled out DS. It didn’t
matter either way. For her, too, termination was never an option.
I
look back at those days of doctor’s visits and ultrasounds, and it all
seems light-years ago. I have two beautiful and healthy children, one
eleven years old and the other just several weeks away from turning ten.
I can’t imagine a life without them, and their good health is my good
fortune. I thank God every day for that blessing that is all too often
taken for granted.
Still, I believe my love for them would be no
less had they been born with a condition or birth defect. I look at my
cousin who deals with struggle after struggle with an autistic child.
She and her husband lose sleep on a regular basis, are routinely at
either a doctor’s office or hospital, and live their lives with a
certain sense of an impending “what’s next?” mentality. Still, they love
their son like there’s no tomorrow, and the love they share between
themselves is immeasurable. It’s the love you develop only after having
sweat and bled with someone else, and I look at my cousin with a world
of admiration. I like to think I could be as strong as she, yet I thank
the Lord I was not put in the position to find out.
In the end,
life, and the events that fill it, is random. It really doesn’t matter
where you place that Plinko chip. It’s going to fall where it’s going to
fall, and there really is very little we can do to predict or control
what happens once we let the chip go.
There are two things, however, we are able to dictate. Faith and love.
Our
faith in God and our acceptance of His will determine for us how we
experience life. We can either fill our lives with anxiety, despair, and
frustration, or we can give ourselves to the mystery that is God’s
choosing, knowing that when He selects us for a particular challenge, it
is for a purpose and it is for the betterment of a greater good. We may
never realize or understand it, still it’s our place to accept it
nonetheless.
We also control how we choose to love others. It can
be so easy for the parent of a special needs child to lay blame for the
situation on their spouse or external circumstances. We can allow
adversity to handcuff our heart’s ability to love and, in turn, be
loved. Or we can find both strength and comfort in the love of those who
surround us and support us. Love is not only an emotion but also a
tool. It is up to us to choose if we use it to build or to destroy.
I
never thought in looking back at those memories of my early youth a
simple game on a television game show would lead to such a deep and
thought provoking blog post. Funny how life is random that way.