June 2012 - Posts
Can you get a couple of eighth graders to eat some grade A, top of the line Canadian moose poop? Apparently there's at least one guy who can.
The students were on a two-day canoe trip in Grand Marais, Manitoba. One of the chaperones convinced two students, one male and one female, to take a bite out of some moose droppings, which the students were told were chocolate covered almonds.
The female student said the waste became lodged in her braces, and she quickly resorted to brushing her teeth using lake water. Both students were told after the prank that moose droppings are "harmless, because moose only eat grass."
Other students stood nearby, laughing. The principal of the school was also there, and did nothing. His career is now in jeopardy.
Parents of the two students are furious, and are demanding action. Turns out, moose droppings can carry potentially harmful parasites. The students have shown no signs of illness so far, but have seen a doctor as a precaution.
Worse than the physical side affects has been the teasing. Text messages and teasing from their peers have become the norm for both students.
Now, while we enjoy a good prank just as much as the next guy, we don't like to see anyone suffer, physically and emotionally. So we hope the adults in this situation are treated like the turds they are.
A Massachusetts man has been arrested and charged with domestic assault and battery and assault after police say he threw a pair of jeans into his girlfriend's face after an argument. But the jeans weren't just regular jeans. They were covered in wasabi sauce.
The woman received a text message from a male friend, which reportedly set the man off. He threatened to throw a pair of her jeans, worth $200, outside. The man then doused the jeans in wasabi sauce, and after taking her cell phone from her, threw the jeans in her face.
The woman is apparently OK, but feeling a little spicy.
Other headlines that caught our eye this morning:
• Salma Hayek shows cleavage, wears yoga pants
• Charlize (Theron) shaved her head
• Miley Cyrus shows major cleavage
• Farmer blames death rays for cows' deaths
• Bear catches peeing man
• Four! – Women arrested for baring breasts on golf green
• Woman shoots herself – Without a gun
Well, you can relax now. The Centers for Disease Control has weighed in, and apparently there is no such thing as zombies.
This past week, the Interwebz has been blowing up with rumors about a zombie attack that was supposed to happen in Miami. The whole thing started with a man who was shot when he wouldn't stop gnawing on the face of a homeless man in Miami when he was ordered to by police.
The "zombie " was identified as Rudy Eugene, who some speculated may have been high on LSD. Others said his behavior was induced by bath salts, a methamphetamine-like drug that resembles the bathroom product it's named for.
Following the grisly incident, there were international headlines that there was a burgeoning zombie apocalypse in Miami. There were other headlines as well. A porn actor in Canada killed a man and dismembered his body, and at part of him. And a Maryland man ate the heart and brain of his roommate, whom he had killed and dismembered.
How the heck did cannibalism even become a "thing?" The voodoo culture and religion of Haiti is cited most often as the origin of zombie legend. The creole word "zombi" is derived from Nzambi, a West African deity.
According to experts in Haitian customs, Haitian zombies were once regular people, but became zombies after a voodoo priest or priestess gave them a potion or put them under a spell. The person then dies, and becomes a zombie.
Whatever you think or believe, if you see people wandering toward you who look "out of it," and repeating "brains….brains…" do not hesitate. Run the other direction and don't look back. Zombies don't like fast food.