April 2012 - Posts
OK, so this woman in New Zealand died of a heart attack, which officials believe was due to toxic levels of caffeine and overall poor nutrition. The woman regularly drank between 2.1 and 2.6 gallons of Coca-Cola a day.
Yep. She had a drinking problem.
Thirty-year-old Natasha Harris, who was a stay at home mom with eight kids, died of a heart attack. An autopsy report revealed that she suffered from hypokalemia, or low potassium, which was likely brought on by her excessive consumption of Coke. Symptoms of the condition include abnormal heart rhythms.
The woman also ate very little and smoked about 30 cigarettes a day. She had experienced high blood pressure and lacked energy in the months leading up to her death.
But here's the dumbest part of the story. Coca-Cola responded with a press release that stated that even water can be dangerous in excessive amounts.
Water doesn't cause abnormal heart rhythms, Coke. We foresee a requirement to add warning labels to bottles of pop in the near future.
When you're done teaching the world to sing, Coke, get on that.
Last year, all anyone could talk about was Charlie Sheen and his crazy antics. It was all about the tiger blood and the winning. The media could't stop reporting what Sheen did and said, and we couldn't get enough of it.
Now, Sheen says those days are over.
"I'm not crazy any more. That was an episode," he told a group of reporters earlier this year. "I think I'm a different person than I was yesterday. Everything is a lot more mellow and focused and much more rooted in reality."
His new FX show, "Anger Management," did well with a test audience, and Sheen was set to begin filming, which started last month. But news broke this week that the show's producer is being sued for $50 million by a former creative partner who says he labored for two years to develop the series, then got booted out when Sheen signed up to do the project.
Sheen's not involved in the suit, since it's the producer who's being sued. He's even stayed off Twitter recently, and kept himself goddess free. Sheen says he's been spending time working and with his kids. The show is still set to hit the airwaves in June.
We have to say, we miss the tiger blood-drinking, chain smoking, goddess-draped Sheen. He was much more fun that Level-Headed Charlie.
Sigh. Good times, good times…
This year we remember the sinking of the Titanic, 100 years after the tragedy that took hundreds of lives. This week, a photograph has been released that depicts what one federal official claims is human remains, entombed in the mud surrounding the wreckage site.
James Delgado, director of maritime heritage at the National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration, said, "These are not shoes that fell out neatly from somebody's bag right next to each other. I as an archeologist would say these are human remains. Buried in that sediment are very likely forensic remains of that person."
Well, there are dentures, dental plates, eyeglasses, metal buttons, clothes and pairs of shoes on the ocean floor at the wreckage site. Hundreds died, so you do the math.
Surprise! At the site of one of the worst tragedies ever, which took hundreds of lives, there are indications of human remains. Wow. Who'd have ever thought it?
Thank you, science.
It's official. You can now literally get everything at Walmart.
A custodial employee working at an Alabama Walmart found a "shake and bake" style meth lab in the women's restroom. The single-use meth operation included a Nestle water bottle and five empty packets of the over the counter cold medicine pseudoephedrine. The pills were a store brand, but not Walmart brand.
In other weird news, a convicted sex offender broke into a Goodwill Thrift Store in Sherman, Texas – naked.
The man broke through the store windows in the front, and then put on a red dress and heels. But he didn't just model his ensemble; no, he danced around the store.
The man had also broken through the glass window of a nearby motel, cutting himself on the head and arm, before he went to the thrift store, where he bled all over his outfit of choice, along with a lot of other merchandise.
The man was taken to a hospital and treated for his injuries before he was jailed and charged with criminal mischief and burglary.
He should have also been charged with fashion crimes. His dress did nothing for his figure.
OK. So this dude suffered from a bacterial infection so he gave himself an enema of water mixed with his cousin's poo. Sounds like a horrible idea, right. But the fact is, it's not such a crappy idea.
The Canadian man suffered from Clostridium difficile, a bacterial infection also known as C. difficile. The condition came on as a result of routine surgery the man had 18 months ago.
He became so frustrated an ill that he decided to just take matters into his own hands and treat himself. So he gave himself an enema designed to get rid of the infection. His cousin's poop was disease and parasite free, so it was good to go.
Once the, um, mixture was prepared, the man just flushed himself out with it.
But when his doctor heard, he said the man had jumped the gun. The doc had scheduled to perform the "transpoosion" in just a few days, but his patient just couldn't wait any longer.
While treating patients with poop sounds a little, um, shady, some doctors agree that it's a viable treatment. The Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology, September 2010 edition, published research that poop transplants help patients suffering from C. difficile. And apparently an enema is the only way to administer the healing power of poop.
But it is still considered a treatment of last resort, so don't go asking for volunteers just yet.
Detention. For some kids, it's an almost everyday event…a regular part of their educational lives. For other kids, it's a threat that sends a chill down their spines, and coerces them back onto the straight and narrow.
Detention slips have, without a doubt, carried some of the funniest material around for years. We've collected some reasons for detention that we think are particularly hilarious. Enjoy.
• For yelling "That is mahogany!" when another student dropped books on a desk.
• Drew large penis on the whiteboard.
• For flying his juice bottle like an airplane during class review.
• For farting in another student's face and excessive chair squeaking.
• Student punched another student in the face and yelled, "Hammer of justice!"
• After another student asked, "Can it be that big?" he yelled, "That's what she said!"
• Student stood during class, unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt, and announced he is Superman.
• Student used the "F" word, and when teacher said she didn't want to hear that again, student said, "Then plug your years."
• Passed a note in class to another student that read, "Your hair has a boner."
• Student was given detention for saying, "You're lying to the class" after the teacher told the students the length of one kilometer is greater than that of 1 mile. The teacher went on to explain that the student should just accept her "teachings without resistance."
And our personal favorite: For calling a teacher a "muggle."
There are some fairly oddly-titled books out there. But did you know there is a prize awarded to the one that's the strangest?
The Diagram prize is given each year for the strangest book title of the year, and this year's winner is "Cooking with Poo." Yep. Poo. But it's not what you think. The word "poo" is Thai for crab, and it's also the nickname of the book's author, Saiyuud Diwong, who runs a popular Thai cooking program in Bangkok.
Runner-up titles included "The Great Singapore Penis Panic" and "Mr. Andoh's Pennine Diary: Memoirs of a Japanese Chicken Sexer."
The Diagram Group Prize for the Oddest Title at the Frankfurt Book Fair, or Diagram prize for short, is named after the Diagram Group, an information and graphics company based in London, and The Bookseller, a British trade magazine for the publishing industry.
The prize was originally devised to be a diversion during the 1978 Frankfurt Book Fair. Originally, the winner was chosen by a panel of judges, but since 2000, the winner has been selected by public vote on The Bookseller's website.
Winners in years past have included: "Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice" (1978), "The Joy of Chickens" (1980), "The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling" (1983), "Highlights of the History of Concrete" (1994), and "Living with Crazy Buttocks" (2002).