March 2012 - Posts
Most people these days are pinching pennies. In most cases, they're making cuts wherever they can. This includes using generic products, rather than name brand. But there are some pretty lame labels on those generic products. Here are a few we found particularly amusing.
• Instead of Spam, you can pick up Great Value's "luncheon meat" at Walmart. Imaginative.
• If you like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, but don't want to pay for it, you can swing by Fred Meyer and pick up some "Butter It's Not."
• Don't want to pay full price for your Fruity Pebbles, but you still crave those little nuggets of yummy? Pick up some "Fruity Nuggets" at Safeway.
• You can save money at Albertsons by picking up "Mountain Maze," rather than Mountain Dew.
• Dr. Skipper. It's Dr. Pepper's cousin that got his medical license in South America.
• You can clean your windows for less. Just pick up some "Window" instead of Windex.
• You can pinch your pennies again on the cereal aisle by getting some "Crisp Crunch" instead of Cap'n Crunch. But don't worry. There's still a captain – of some sort – on the label.
• Not only is "Bottom Paste" cheaper, it's much more polite than Boudreaux's Butt Paste.
• If you don't want to do all the physical work when you cook your chicken or pork, stop by Albertsons and pick up some "Coat & Bake," rather than the usual Shake 'N Bake.
• Hamburger Helper is so mainstream. If you want to go cheap and hipster, try "Panburger Partner."
Well, apparently, ghosts can have a sweet tooth.
A security camera in an IGA supermarket in Brompton, South Australia, caught footage of a pack of Fruit Roll-Ups being tossed 18 and 36 feet away from its original location. The footage shows there appears to be no one standing nearby.
The owner of the store said that when he purchased it, he was told it was haunted, and he's noticed several strange things since. He has disregarded those events, but now that he's got "proof," he may be singing a different tune.
One theory is that the store is haunted by the ghost of a boxer who was killed on the sidewalk outside the store in 1998.
Wonder if he was fond of Fruit Roll-Ups?
See the footage here: http://tempuri.org/tempuri.html
It's Friday and that means it is time to take a look at the freaky and downright weird.
We start off this week with a British bride who postponed her wedding so she could instead spend the money to treat her cancer-stricken pet lizard, George.
Apparently, the bearded dragon's treatment was to cost $4,700, so the 25-year-old woman put the brakes on her nuptials to be sure her beloved pet got the treatment he needed.
"George will always come first," she told local tabloids. Bet that made her husband-to-be feel just ducky. The chemo was a success, and George is in remission. Apparently, the woman's fiance is okay with how things have turned out.
"They have a special bond," he said. Good thing he knows his place.
There's one artist in this world that doesn't care if your makeup is just right or you just got your hair cut to get read to pose. He's more concerned with your posterior.
Krandel Lee Newton draws caricatures of people's backsides – yep, he's the original butt sketcher. He's drawn more than 400,000 butts since 1987, and each are done with a charcoal pencil in about three minutes, on average.
Believe it or not, Newton's gone corporate. His burins, Original Butt Sketch, is based in Dallas, Texas. He's on a world tour currently, and has drawn the backsides of people like Alex Trebeck, Bill Gates and John Goodman.
Finnish mobile phone developer Nokia filed for a patent this week on tattoos that will notify cell phone users that their phone is ringing. The apparatus is supposed to detect a magnetic field, then basically send a little shock to the owner of the phone that it's ringing. There's also the possibility that the tattoo could notify the cell phone owner of a text or dead battery, in addition to calls.
The device could come in the form of a tattoo, badge or label. Because, well, ring tones are so last year.
Peyton Manning has replaced Tim Tebow as QB for the Denver Broncos. And the Twitterverse exploded…
• "When Tebow only sees one set of footprints in the sand, they'll be Peyton Manning's."
• "God is dead and Peyton killed him."
• "Just poured out a 40 of holy water for Tim Tebow."
• "John Elway will do everything in his power to trade Tebow to Sodom."
• "Tebow, it was a fun year. Good luck in Miami or Jacksonville…or the Professional Bowlers Association Tour."
• "Does ESPN have helicopters following the Tebow bandwagon out of Denver?"
• "Elway, why hast thou forsaken me? Tebow 3:19"
• "Is Peyton Manning Lucifer, Pontius Pilate or that d**k soldier who stabbed Jesus in the ribs?"
• "Thus saith Tebow in vain, 'Get thee behind me, Peyton!' "
• "Tebow for Lin, straight up."
• "If Denver fans embrace Manning and forget Tebow after this past year, they're the Kardashians of sports fans."
• "Breaking News: Tim Tebow loses long-held virginity after getting screwed by Broncos."
Other than the shamrock, there is no other symbol more associated with Ireland and St. Patrick's Day than the leprechaun. Everyone is familiar with the iconic figure – just say the word "leprechaun" and your mind will conjure up images of little folk with red hair and pointy ears, fiercely guarding a pot of gold while wearing a striking green suit.
But there are things about leprechauns we bet you didn't know. Here are some little known facts about the wee folk.
• Early Irish folklore describes leprechauns as short beings dressed in red, wearing a cocked or tri-cornered hat. Very different from the traditional image, eh?
• Did you know there are no female leprechauns? Irish folklore carries no record of a female counterpart to the male leprechauns, and there's no record of them procreating to make new little leprechauns. Legend has it that leprechauns are the offspring of fairies. These offspring were branded as defective because of their shape and disposition.
• When you think of leprechauns, you think of Ireland, but the earliest records of leprechaun-like creatures came from other countries as well. Holland has folk legends about the Kabouter, described as gnome-like creatures that cobbled shoes, while the Fenodyree, a small and hairy creature who helped farmers herd sheep, hail from the Isle of Man, off the coast of the U.K.
• There's a park dedicated to leprechauns in Portland, Ore. Really. The story goes that a reporter wrote a series of columns about the United States' only leprechaun colony in 1947 after he spotted one digging a hole outside of his window. Since he was caught, the leprechaun gave the reporter a wish, which he used to wish for a park of his own. The leprechaun tried the man, giving him the hole he had dug instead. The little patch of ground was christened an official city park in 1976.
• The leprechaun is a protected endangered species under European law.
Nan Weidong and Nan Weiping have never run a restaurant. But they would never have to worry about what to do with the leftover vegetables.
The duo learned to play traditional instruments under the tutelage of their music teacher father in China's central Anhui provoke. These days, they find themselves looking to a less conventional methods of making music. The pair lugs home veggies from the local market and sit in their small apartment, drilling holes in carrots, marrows, lotus roots and Chinese yams.
The men use an old electronic tuner to get the pitch just right.
"The deeper the hole, the lower the pitch. The shallower the hole, the higher the pitch, said Nan Weiping, who added that the size of the holes also guarantees the quality of the note.
The men have appeared on a variety of talent shows in China, and have received payments of up to 50,000 yuan ($7,900) for a performance. The duo has become so good they have begun performing as their sole source of income – although each performance requires a whole new set of instruments.
Of all the careers that are out there to choose from, we'd have to say that had we known about this one, we'd have made different choices.
Beth Agnew is a professional laugh expert. She posts laugh tutorials on YouTube, demonstrating the various types of laughter, in an effort to coach you on how to laugh.
Wow. She gets paid to do this? No way…really? No. Wow.
You can find her tutorials at http://tempuri.org/tempuri.html.
Okay. We firmly believe in loving your pet. We believe every pet deserves to be loved, cherished and yes, even spoiled a bit.
An English couple has dropped more than $13,000 on plastic surgery for their bloodhound. Yep, Junior got a tummy tuck, facelift and other surgeries over the past two years.
Before you scream "No way!", we should say that the dog is 5 years old, and suffers from a rare disease that causes excess skin to develop on the body. Junior's condition left him nearly immobile and unable to see because skin flaps had grown over his eyes.
Denise and David Smart, Junior's people, said some of the surgeries were cosmetic, noting that Junior now looks "like a young man again," and that they wanted him to look more like his dog show champion father.
Here's the truly weird thing – this isn't an isolated case. Apparently, pet plastic surgery has become a "thing." Performed nose jobs have risen 25 percent over the past three years, and eye lifts are up as well. You can even get something called "Neuticles" – silicone testicles for neutered dogs so they don't feel inadequate.
There are no words.
"It's going to be a cat fight." This is how some are describing the Virginia senate race. Particularly since one of the candidates is actually a cat.
Hank is a stray cat that is now a political independent who advocates a job creation platform and "milk in every bowl," and is passionate about the creation of a Privacy Bill of Rights and the protection of consumer data. Hank even has an official ad that features the values that Hank holds dear.
But is Hank eligible to run? Candidates, by federal law, must be at least 30 years old. In cat years, Hank's 52.
Hank has his own website, www.hankforsenate.com, and he's on Facebook as well. He's got volunteers knocking on doors, taking phone calls and prepared to staff polling places on election day.
But Hank's not the first four-legged candidate. Bosco Ramos, a black Labrador-Rottweiler mix, ran for and was elected as mayor of Sunol, Calif. in 1981. He held that post until 1990.
We hope Hank gets elected. It would be great to have a senator who can tweet naked photos and not get into trouble for it.