February 2012 - Posts
The world almost imploded today. First, we found out that Davy Jones, the cute one in the 1960s made-for-TV pop group the Monkees, died today at age 66. The cause of death was a heart attack. Jones died in his Florida home.
Though they were not taken seriously and were reviled as just a group built to ride the coat tails of the Beatles, the Monkees actually did have some really good pop recordings. And Jones was the lead singer who quickly became the idol of every teenage girl at the time.
What most people probably don't know is that Jones dropped out of school after his mother died and began a career as a jockey. He later quit to pursue acting, and at 20 years old, recorded a solo album. In 1965 he auditioned for a comedy show inspired by the Beatles film "A Hard Day's Night," and he got the part, along with Micky Dolenz, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork. And lo, the Monkees were born.
We all loved Jones and he seemed like a sweet man. He did, after all, go with Marcia Brady to the dance.
The other thing that happened today that caused a disturbance in the force was that we found out that Snooki is pregnant. Holy cow, she's procreating!
There are reports all over the news that she's got a bun in the oven, although Nicole Polizzi, aka Snooki, has yet to confirm the pregnancy. For those who don't know who Snooki is, she's the shortest female on MTV's "Jersey Shore." The father of her child is reportedly her boyfriend of some time now, Jionni LaValle.
Do they even carry leopard print diapers at Babies R Us?
The good news is that it's Leap Day. This will all be just a memory tomorrow...
If you have been exposed to Pinterest, it's highly likely you already drank the kool-aid and are now happily posting stuff on your boards to share with people everywhere. The site is dominated by women, and women love to share their interests and ideas with each other. So it's no surprise that the page has grown by leaps and bounds in recent months.
But what about those of us who have hit their social media limit? It feels like we're missing the boat if we don't sign up for and use Pinterest, yet if we do, we feel overwhelmed. We do have, after all, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn and e-mail to worry about.
Yet, there is pressure coming from all sides to join this new social media site and "share." What if you have a life and don't have time for yet another reason to say to your loved ones, "Give me 5 more minutes on the computer…I just have to check one last thing…"
It must be said, in an effort to be fair, that this new site has gained literally thousands of followers and thus, it is a new phenomenon that just can't be ignored. Then again, we don't need yet another social media tool to make us feel worthy – to make us feel that we do belong to the human race and are therefore worth knowing and being known by others.
Maybe we should log on for just 5 minutes or so, you know, just to see what it's all about…
It's Freaky Friday, and that means another trip into the weird and bizarre. Today we look at the art world, and some of the most talented and weird techniques being used today.
First up is Pricasso. Yep. Pricasso. Australian Tim Patch is an artist who calls himself this because he uses his penis to paint. He uses his backside to paint the backgrounds of his paintings, then fills in the details with his, um, manhood. His work is actually not bad.
Painter Millie Brown creates art that might make you sick. Well…at least it makes her sick. She drinks colored milk and then regurgitates it back onto a white canvas. Her vomit paintings are considered abstract and fetch thousands of dollars.
Hong Yi is an artist who chose a different tool to paint with – a basketball. She's most known for her painting of Yao Ming.
Vinicius Quesada is a street artist in Brazil who enjoys adding some shock value to his work, so his paintings include human blood, and often urine as well. His work includes images of violent geishas, smoking monkeys and other apocalyptic images.
American artist Kira Ayn Varszegi uses a tool that might make Pricasso smile – her 38DD breasts. She applies oil paint directly to her breasts and presses them against the canvas. She does this over and over, using different colors, until she's satisfied with the result. Varszegi boasts that there is at least one of her paintings hanging in all 50 states.
Last of all, there's Val Thompson, who began painting after she lost her husband. She mixes human ashes into the paint and creates works of art for those left behind.
Each of these artists are unique in their own way – and believe it or not, their paintings sell for hundreds of dollars each. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, indeed.
New York Knicks player Jeremy Lin has applied for a trademark on the now overused "Linsanity," paying a $1,635 filing fee so he can use the name on apparel.
Don't know what Linsanity is? Have you been under a rock?
Lin is the newest player on the Knicks roster, and after a 38-point game, sportscasters everywhere began saying things we never thought we'd hear…Linsanity…Linning…Linvaluable player…Linsane…Lintelligent player…he's no Lintestinal parasite…
The list goes on and on…
But in addition to his skills on the court, Lin has blown up the Twitterverse because he says he's playing for God. Sound familiar? It should. Tim Tebow says the same thing.
Whatever. Whoever he's playing for, it's no secret that Lin is an incredible athlete, and the Knicks better do what it takes to hang on to him.
To not do so would be, well, Linsanity.
Apparently, if you have a bad run of luck, it means your dog is possessed.
New York artist Olga Horvat welcomed a small, white poodle into her home, and that's when her troubles began. Horvat's home was infested with bedbugs and she wound up with a $7,000 exterminator bill. Her husband had a bad car accident and then came down with a rare autoimmune disease. Her daughter was expelled from second grade for putting on a rubber glove before grabbing the hand of a Muslim friend – an act the child blamed on the voices in her head. And on top of all that the dog, Princess, suffered a broken leg and didn't respond well to treatment.
Horvat said Princess was demon possessed, and that all of her family's misfortunes are due to the possession. But Horvat doesn't blame Princess. She wrote in her book (yes, she wrote a book to chronicle the family's experience with their possessed pooch) that an evil presence has infiltrated her dog.
But have no fear. She created a pendant that she'll gladly sell a replica of for $197 – the pendant chased away the demonic spirit. Horvat's energy shield pendants supposedly block electromagnetic energy and evil spirits. You can pick one up for yourself, or buy one for $11 less for your pet.
So…if you find yourself with a pet displaying characteristics like Horvat's possessed poodle Princess, pick up her book, "Paranormal Pooch."
We have a feeling you'll be laughing so hard you won't have time to think about your temperamental pet.
Animal Planet has a rather intriguing show airing currently called, "Finding Bigfoot." The legend of the Sasquatch creature has long intrigued people, us included. We've all seen the plaster footprints and the grainy film footage and photos, but to date, there isn't any solid proof that Bigfoot exists.
Still, there are Bigfoot enthusiasts who swear he's out there and that they are going to find him. The Animal Planet show certainly does it's part to perpetuate the legend. In its second season, the show features a team of four explorers who travel the world, searching for more proof that the creature does exist.
It should be noted, however, that a group of experts traveled to Russia for a conference and it was there that the group confirmed, with 95 percent certainty, the existence of the Yeti, Bigfoot's Russian cousin. But there was still no hardcore proof. At least, not enough to convince us.
We went online and checked out several videos of Bigfoot sightings. Most looked to us like either a man in an ape suit or a bear on its hind legs. The photos taken last year of prints on the window of a truck that the owner claimed were proof that a Bigfoot had peered into his vehicle looked to us like they were clearly made by a bear.
While there is considerable debate as to whether it would be ethical to shoot and kill a Bigfoot in the name of research, we have to say it's the only way we're going to believe such a creature exists. No mere muddy footprint or grainy photograph is going to cut it – not for us or most of the folks walking this planet.
In the world of the strange and bizarre, it is sometimes quite difficult to determine who is more stupid. You be the judge…
• A man in Rostov-On-Don, Russia grabbed a kitchen knife at a party and asked a friend to stab him, claiming his abs could not be penetrated. The friend complied. The man's claims were exaggerated. Who's dumber…the stabber or the stabbee?
• A couple in Portland, Ore. were arrested after taking a romantic drive around the city. Trouble was, the woman was naked, tied up and had duct tape in her mouth. The man said they were just having little Valentine's Day fun by doing a little role playing. Who's dumber…him for driving in a heavily populated area or her for letting him tie her up naked and put her in the back of his car?
• A West Virginia college student is suing his fraternity after he fell off a deck when a drunken frat brother fired a bottle rocket out of his own anus. He said it startled him. Who's dumber…the frat boy with the burned-up booty or the boy who said the whole thing "startled" him?
• A San Francisco-based clothier is making dress sweatpants, complete with tailored pockets, belt loops and a zipper fly. Why? So you can be comfortable at work, of course. Who's dumber…the maker or the person who's willing to pay $90 for a pair?
When sifting through last minute Valentine's Day gift ideas, we were dismayed by the realistic heart pendant, complete with arteries, and disgusted by the cupcakes with anatomically correct male and female decorations. Pastry should never be anatomically correct.
But when we came across one item, we simply laughed out loud. And we felt the equilibrium of man vs. woman shift decidedly in the direction of men everywhere.
For years, women have worn bras that lifted and separated, and made them look, well, like they were sporting a bit more treasure in their chests. From the underwire to the water bra, women have been fooling men into thinking there was more than meets the eye for a very long time.
But now men can do the same. The "Trunk in my Junk" is billed as "the solution" for men who are less than blessed, but who want women to admire then more, um, fully.
The package contains several reusable cups that fit over a man's well, package, to make it look larger. The kit costs $11.95 and is obviously much less expensive and much less painful than surgery. It's billed as "male false advertising" but hey, if a woman gets far enough into the negotiation to discover there's been some deceit, then she's likely not going to turn back.
But what of the deception involved? A man has only to point to the Wonder Bra to support his argument.
If love is truly in the air – and since Valentine's Day is coming up, let's assume it is – it shouldn't stink, right?
Not so, says the New York City Department of Environmental Protection. The department will be offering tours of its state-of-the-art sewage treatment plant in Brooklyn on Valentine's Day. It's a gift that will surely melt your sweetie's heart – or at least singe his or her nose hairs.
"It's a unique date, and one they'll never forget," said Jim Pynn, plant superintendent. "I went to see the digester eggs in Greenpoint, Brooklyn."
Pynn was referring to the plant's giant egg-shaped digesters that process waste much like a human stomach, turning the toxic sludge into treatable byproducts.
And after a tour of the plant, you can take a stroll by Newtown Creek, which is so polluted the federal government has commissioned an emergency cleanup. The creek is one of the most polluted waterways in the northeast, and contains a toxic mix of chemicals that have leaked from industrial banks in both Brooklyn and Queens for the past 150 years.
But we're told there is a beautiful view of Manhattan from the area, and they give you a Hershey's Kiss for your trouble. You just won't be able to smell anything for a week.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Lord have mercy. Someone in the fashion world has slap nutted up.
The self-proclaimed "crazy Canadian denim nerds" at Naked & Famous Denim have come up with something, well, crazy. Scratch and Sniff jeans, a new line that retails at $150, are covered in micro-capsules of perfume that activate when scratched.
But get this – they're for men. And they sport the manly scent of raspberries. Because, well, what man wouldn't want to smell like yogurt. The good news is that the scent lasts through at least five washes.
The bad news? Well…ladies, just beware of guys asking you to smell their jeans.
We don't understand the whole zombie apocalypse thing. There are those among us who actually want one to happen – they really think it would be cool if the world were suddenly overrun with the living dead. There are those who want it to happen so they can prove they were ready. They've got militaristic weapons and bunkers and bomb shelters galore, and if any amongst the undead are dumb enough to get close, well, they can't be held responsible.
There are even people who dress like zombies and attend zombie functions or conventions – events that, we guess, are designed to give zombie aficionados a place to feel at home – or undead. Whatever. It's weird.
So we were thinking, out of all the modern day movie heroes we've seen on the big screen, who could handle a zombie apocalypse and how? Here's what we came up with…
• Kevin McCallister: First of all, Kevin has been left home alone at least twice that we know of, and he is hacked off about it. And we are all aware that this kid has an uncanny ability to improvise weaponry that is, to date, unparalleled. He's iced steps, used tar and nail traps, made homemade flame throwers, broken Christmas ornaments and even dangled paint cans strategically.
The only drawback is that his escape plan involves zip-lining to his treehouse, which by the time he's got his house set up to fend off the hungry undead masses, his treehouse is full of, well, undead masses. Slap your cheeks little boy – you're dead.
• Baby: We all know that nobody puts Baby in a corner, and we're betting that includes zombies. She's at a remote resort which, by horror movie standards, is the optimum place for a showdown with the undead. But she's well-supplied with watermelons and she can jump over the zombies heads, just like she practiced with Johnny. She'll survive.
• Harry Potter: Harry has magic, that's an obvious advantage. With just a few foolish wand-waves and a silly incantation or two, he could bring down the mass of undead attacking the castle. As for an escape plan, well, he could simply Accio his broom and boom – he's gone. Unless zombies can fly. Then he's in trouble. Seriously – he killed Lord Moldy Shorts…he can survive a few zombies.
Apparently, our digital age is catching up with us. People everywhere are developing maladies that can only be attributed to our digital dependence.
For example, if you have pain going down your neck and arm, as well as numbness or tingling in your fingers and hand, you are very likely suffering form text neck. The hours you've spent hunched over your phone texting has had negative side effects.
There's also something called the Blackberry thumb, which in truth has been around since Nintendo days. You can get repetitive strain injury, which is like carpal tunnel syndrome, that includes swelling pain and numbness. It's all caused from texting a lot. Or, back in the day, playing video games on Nintendo.
More recently, people are suffering from Wii wrist, which comes from hours of holding the Wii controller while playing any number of games.
You can even suffer from too much iPad use. People get iPad shoulder from using their devices way too long – which is easy to do, since you can do just about everything on an iPad. You can get injuries from sitting and viewing it too long, and you can be injured from typing on it when laid flat.
And last but not least, you can suffer from earbud oblivion – and this can even get you killed. People are out in public everywhere, every day, with their earbuds stuffed into their ears, listening to music on full blast. It can and does cause damage to your hearing, but if you're so caught up in Adele's latest single, you may not notice the oncoming car that will kill you.
Perhaps it's time to get back to basics and spend time away from the electronics...