Get a hobby people – one that doesn't involve ice cream or posing in odd positions
Americans need hobbies. Real ones that take skill and time to master. Ones that take the average person away from the Internet and television, and make them want to put down the smartphones and tablets.
A few months ago, the trend was planking, which involves lying on your stomach, face down, arms stiffly at your side and legs stretched out. The idea is to "plank" somewhere unusual, take a picture and post it online. The craze was everywhere. For a while.
These days, it's owling. Why owling? Because planking is so two months ago.
Owling is just about crouching in odd locations and acting like an owl for a photograph. This phenomenon even has a Facebook page, which currently has more than 16,500 likes, and has posts from around the world.
Both trends are all over YouTube and Twitter.
But wait…there's more. There's a new twist in which people act like teapots. Yep. Here is my handle, here is my spout. Snap that photo and post it online.
Then there's coning. This one involves going through a drive-thru at your favorite place that serves ice cream cones and ordering a cone. The trick here is that when the cone is handed to you, you grab it by the ice cream and not the cone.
If none of those appeal to you, you can go balling (posing while curled up like a ball, face in your lap, arms around your knees), pillaring (standing like a pillar, nose up in the air), or toothpicking (standing on your head and pointing your toes to look like a toothpick, arms by your side).
May we suggest a new trend? We'd love to see people monkeying. Yep. Monkeying. Hang from trees and tire swings. Pick unseen insects off each other. Fling poo.
Yes, that's it. Act like a monkey, take pictures of yourself and post them online. Oh, wait…that's so two months ago.