May 2011 - Posts
It's hurricane season again – and with other areas of the U.S. already recovering from natural disasters, it's not a bad idea to make sure you have a disaster kit ready to go.
Disaster can strike at any time, and it's a good idea to maintain a supply of canned goods, dry mixes and other cooking staples that will last up to two weeks. You should also have an ample supply of clean water on hand. Store at least a three-day supply for each member of your household.
Your kit should contain the following items:
• Flashlight and batteries, as well as a battery-powered of hand-crank radio. A NOAA weather radio is preferable.
• First aid kit.
• Seven days' worth of medication and medical items.
• Multi-purpose tool.
• Sanitation and personal hygiene items.
• Copies of personal documents, medications list, medical information, proof of address, copies of deed/lease to home, passports, birth certificates and insurance policies.
• Cell phones with chargers.
• Family and emergency contact information.
• Extra cash.
• Emergency blanket.
• Maps of the area.
Life is just weird. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried...
The best billboard we have ever seen has been banned in Kennewick, Wash.
Officials in two Washington counties have voted to bar colon cancer awareness billboards bearing the slogan "What's up your butt?"
Benton and Franklin county officials said the billboards were offensive and in poor taste.
And in Lake Mary, Fla., a man is suing after his finger was pricked on a rose thorn in a Winn-Dixie store.
Yep. He pricked his finger, and he figures it's an injury worth the $15,000 in damages he's seeking.
The lawsuit alleges the man suffered pain and disfigurement, and is seeking compensation for lost wages and medical bills. Charles Imwalle, 31, filed the lawsuit this week. He pricked his finger on a rose he purchased at the store in February.
Last, but not least, you've likely heard by now that cicadas have infested the South once again, making their once-every-13-years appearance. While most are just annoyed with all the noise, there are those who are taking advantage of the situation.
They're eating them.
Yep. Eating them. And they say they're good with butter and garlic. Others say they have a nutty flavor, like peanuts or almonds. And they taste really good dipped in chocolate.
No. Thank. You.
President Barack Obama has muffed it again. This time, he dissed the Queen.
During a dinner at the home of the U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom, the president began to give a toast to the queen, but when he put his note cards down on the table, rather than holding them during his speech, the band took it as a cue. They began playing "God Save The Queen," and Obama well, bless his heart, he just kept toasting.
He later tried to laugh it off, saying he thought it was like a sound track in the movies.
The Queen just kept looking down, while Obama toasted the air.
Royal protocol experts were aghast, saying when the national anthem is played, you shut up.
It's not the first blunder made by an Obama. Michelle Obama hugged the Queen – how dare she?!
The funny thing is that the Obamas were both prepped by professional royal protocol experts. And they still managed to find something to screw up.
Enjoy it here: http://tempuri.org/tempuri.html
Oprah Winfrey's final show airs today – the last in a 25-year history. Book club members everywhere will weep as the lights go dim one last time.
But although her show is ending, this is one billionaire who doesn't plan to rest on her laurels. She has already gone head-first into a new venture, the Oprah Winfrey Network, a cable channel that launched in January.
While fans are clamoring for that last-show ticket and shedding whatever-will-we-do-now tears, critics are already debating her true legacy. While her devotion to showing viewers how to be their best selves inspired millions of women, she demonstrated what real media power means. When President Barack Obama won the presidency, the most common comment was that he wasn't elected, he was Oprah-approved – the comment proves that Winfrey has pull on all levels.
Some critics have said that the end of Winfrey's show finally means the end of "unabashed self obsession and public confession of private sorrows, traumas and failures." Those same critics said her chief legacy is the era of self promotion.
Winfrey herself has said she was needed for a certain time in American history and no more. She knows when to call it quits.
So if you wish to hear Winfrey's "you've always had the power" mantra, now you'll have to pay for it.
Will she be missed? Who knows. Sounds like the Big "O" isn't too concerned about it.
A young lady in Cleburne, Texas made a unique statement with her prom dress this year, which she made herself. Her dress was black and white and read all over.
Yes, Virginia, her dress was made entirely from newspapers.
Eighteen-year-old Brieana Peacock spent a couple of months looking for the perfect dress for prom, but just couldn't find what she was looking for. She heard about the "Stuck at Prom" contest sponsored by Duck Tape each year, but decided that wasn't her medium.
So she and her mom fashioned the dress out of newspapers, along with a matching wrist corsage and head piece.
The dress was a hit, but now Peacock isn't sure what to do with it.
That's got to be a problem shared by the winners of the Stuck at Prom contest each year. After you fashion a dress or suit made completely out of Duck Tape, along with matching shoes, hat, headpiece and purse, what do you do with it?
Chances are, since it's made of Duck Tape, it'll keep perfectly for the grandkids. And their grandkids. And their grandkids. And their grandkids…
As crazy as it seems, the contest isn't so crazy, since the winners receive college scholarship money. The contest runs through the first part of June, so as to be sure and provide ample opportunity for all prom-goers to participate.
The funny thing is, these kids come up with some fantastic designs, some of which don't even look like they're made of Duck Tape. You can enjoy these fashionable creations at www.stuckatprom.com.
Police in Southampton, Britain are looking for the owner of a full-size toy tiger that was evidently realistic enough to have local folks calling the authorities, fearing there was a wild animal on the loose.
A man spotted the "predator" in a field near his residence, and contacted police, who responded with a helicopter and thermal imaging cameras. This was only first of several calls made regarding the terrible tiger in the field. Wildlife experts at the local zoo were at the ready with tranquilizer darts to fell the ferocious beast.
But before the dart-bearing zookeepers could get to the scene, someone recognized the animal as being fake, and the investigation was called off.
To fool all those folks, that must have been once heckuva stuffed anima. We'd have loved to have attended the carnival where the owner won that one.
A Nebraska couple has been nabbed for a series of cooking grease thefts.
Yep. Cooking grease.
Christy Harris, 34, and Jesse Moore, 36, were pulled over by officers at 2 a.m. Wednesday, and officers reported that the large black tank in the back of the truck the couple was traveling in smelled like "old, stale french fries."
Once the couple was interviewed by officers at the scene, it was determined they had stolen grease from a bin outside of a restaurant in Lincoln, Neb.
There have been other thefts in the area, involving out 4,000 pounds of used cooking grease.
At first glance, one would think, what the heck would anyone want with used cooking grease? But considering that restaurants can make a tidy sum selling the grease to businesses that convert it into biofuel, one could see why a thief would target it.
Well. At least they're looking out for Mother Earth.
We've all seen the commercials with Ronald McDonald running around playing with happy kids. We've seen Ronald eating Happy Meals with them. We've seen him skate, rollerblade, bike, play hopscotch and even bowl with happy kids, all to market McDonald's.
And now that Ronald is reaching middle age – he'll be 40 this year – there's a rather loud group of people calling for his retirement.
It seems that the health problems of today's consumer, particularly children, are being placed firmly on Ronald's shoulders. The campaign, launched by the Boston-based nonprofit Corporate Accountability International, is asking McDonald's to retire the iconic figure, saying, "(Ronald) has hooked kids on unhealthy food spurring an epidemic of diet-related disease."
Supporters of the campaign say that Ronald "targets children," and that this "is inherently deceptive and exploits children under 8 years of age."
McDonald's has responded by saying that while Ronald is the face of the burger chain, he's also the "heart and soul" of Ronald McDonald House Charities.
So who's right?
Here's where we stand. First of all, not once have we ever seen Ronald grabbing some poor 7-year-old and strong-arming him into a nearby McDonald's, then force-feeding him a Chicken McNugget.
Second, this whole thing is ludicrous. Blaming a symbol for childhood obesity? You want to go after those responsible? How about going after the parents? They could have, and in many cases should have, said no when their kids begged for those burgers and fries. But because of the low cost and convenience, they kept letting their kids fill their pie holes with McD's greasy fare.
Last, we have to ask, who's next? Will these same people now go after Count Chocula and Cap'n Crunch? How about Tony the Tiger? There's a lot of sugar in those cereals. How about nailing those pesky Keebler elves? Or going after that dinosaur that touts Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? No product should be that orange or that addictive – many kids won't eat anything but Kraft mac and cheese. What's up with that?
Before you start blaming Ronald and countless others for the problems of today's children, we challenge you to first look at the parents. They've been the ones not stepping up. Hold them accountable.
Leave Ronald out of it.
It's all over the news. Arnold Schwarzenegger had a fling with "the help" and now we know who the Governator's baby-mama is.
Her name is Mildred Baena, and she worked for more than 20 years as a housekeeper for the family. Her son's birth certificate doesn't have the actor/politician/cigar smoker's name on it, but the boy's resemblance to "Ahnold" is uncanny.
Schwarzenegger most likely would have kept mum, however Baena threatened to go public with the news that she had given birth to his son 14 years ago. So he came clean.
Since his admission, the media and the public have been ripping on the actor, while expressing sympathy to his wife, Maria Shriver, who has moved out of the family's Brentwood, Calif. home.
While it is certainly true that Ahnold was married to Maria at the time of the affair, it's also clear that Baena was also married. So two people, who were married at the time, had an affair that resulted in a child.
Sounds like the most embarrassing pregnancy since "Junior."
We've all seen them – the commercials sponsored by a cell phone company asking people all over America to wish a happy 100th birthday to Veatrice Henson.
Who the heck is Veatrice Henson?
Henson lives in Grain Valley, Mo., and enjoys reading her Bible and western novels. She crochets and embroiders. She volunteers at the Grain Valley Community Services League every Wednesday, and has done so for 23 years. She also drives her own car, and recently renewed her license for the next three years.
Henson's birthday was April 29, and the commercials are still running. It appears birthday wishes will be welcomed long after the big day. You can e-mail some goodwill to her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She's apparently quite technologically savvy.
Still want to know more about this brand new centenarian? Check out this link: http://tempuri.org/tempuri.html
Okay. If a child is disruptive on a school bus, we get that he should be removed from the bus. It creates chaos among the other kids and can be a distraction for the bus driver. It's dangerous. We totally get it.
But if a kid has gas and, um, lets loose, is that a punishable offense? It is offensive, yes, but should a kid who does so be booted off the bus?
That's exactly what happened to two middle school students in Columbus, Ohio last week. The two boys, each 13 years old, passed gas on the bus while en route and, as expected, it caused a ruckus on the bus, filled with middle schoolers. There was lots of laughing, jeers and, of course, windows were opened.
But school district officials, once they, um, got wind of the situation, said the incident was "making an obscene gesture" and was thus in violation of the student code of conduct. The boys were kicked off the bus.
The boys' parents were outraged, and said their sons were just "doing what comes naturally," and should therefore have not been punished. They said the incidents were not premeditated.
So…let's get this straight. There's a bus full of middle school kids. Two of them fart. The bus breaks into giggles and jokes and windows are opened. Sounds like pretty standard stuff for middle school. Heck, it'd likely be pretty standard if the bus had been full of adults. Bathroom humor is just funny – no matter how mature you think you are.
But punishable? We think not. Perhaps the timing was a little off. Perhaps the boys couldn't help it – maybe they could have. Whatever the case, punishing them for doing what middle school boys have been doing since the dawn of time is, well, in our opinion, just adults expelling a lot of hot air.
A young Australian bloke was arrested this week in Queensland for "planking."
Aren't a hipster? Don't have a clue what planking is?
It's simple really. The art of planking involves lying rigidly over an object, face down, arms by your side. You have to bring a friend along, because the practice also includes having your picture taken while in mid-plank, and posting said photo online.
The practice seems relatively harmless, because it doesn't usually involve any damage to person or property. The dude in Australia made the mistake, however, of planking a police car.
The practice of planking is being done all over the world, and there are Facebook communities that have thousands of followers. The followers post photos of people planking on train tracks, fire hydrants, escalators and motorcycles.
If you still don't understand, then check this out. And remember: Please plank responsibly.
A man in Petoskey, Mich. was arrested last night. That's not that unusual.
He was dressed like Batman and was found hanging off the side of a building. That would qualify as unusual.
After he was rescued, the faux Batman was found to be in possession of a collapsible baton, a can of chemical irritant spray and a pair of lead-lined gloves.
Wonder if officers found them in the guy's Batman utility belt? Officers didn't say. What they did say was that they weren't sure what the guy was up to. Here's our theory…
Batdude went to the hardware store to replenish the supplies in his utility belt, angry that his trusty butler had forgotten to do so earlier in the day. He was unable to get there before the store closed, but being the clever caped crusader that he is, he determined it would be okay if he went ahead and did his shopping anyway. Society does, after all, owe him for locking up the Joker, Mr. Freeze and the Penguin.
So after procuring the items on his list, Batdude used his trusty grapple hook and rope rig to hoist himself up to a high window. Once he cleverly used his bat-cutter to cut a circle in the window so he could make his exit, he stealthily made his way through to the outside.
But in this process, Batdude realize he'd forgotten to leave money on the counter, and while trying to determine the best way to take care of payment, his cape got caught, and he was left dangling on the side of the building.
Holy debit card, Batdude!
Next time, just take cash. Ka-pow!
Well…after reading this…common water will never again do.
A Los Angeles company is marketing a $2,600 bottle of water, and the bottle is encrusted with more than 10,000 Swarovski crystals.
The company is called Bling H2O, and a company spokesman said the water comes from the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. Can't afford the 750-milliliter bottle described above? Then how about a small bottle for $20?
Of course, with the smaller bottle, you won't get the display case and the white gloves.
We were wondering what the hill people of the Smoky Mountains would think about this. So we asked a couple of them. First up, Jedediah. His last name has been withheld. The second guy said he wouldn't give us his last name either, since he was pert near sure Jedediah didn't even know his'n.
Us: Jedediah, there's a man selling $2,600 bottles of water with sparkly crystals all over them, and the water comes from that stream behind your cabin. What do you think of that?
Jedediah: You reckon he knows that stream sits downhill from my outhouse?
Us: Clem, you're shaking your head. Do you think all this bottled water and crystals nonsense is a bunch of hogwash?
Clem: I got some jars of, um, mountain water, I'd be most pleased to sell the city folks. And I'll sell 'em a lot cheaper than that there sparkle water.
Well, there you have it folks. A realistic look at Bling H2O from those who know the mountains – and all they offer – best.
Who knew Hillary Clinton was too sexy?
A New York Hassidic newspaper altered the photograph of President Barack Obama watching the Osama bin Laden raid. They deleted Secretary of State Hilary Clinton from the photo. Just photoshopped Madame Secretary right outta there.
According to reports, the Yiddish-language publication never publishes photos of women, deeming them too sexy.
We bet Hillary has a big smile on her face today, and she's walking the streets of D.C. humming that famous tune by Right Said Fred.
Wow. Who knew?
More Posts Next page »