They lift and separate – and so much more
Some say you can learn a lot about a woman by what she's wearing. I say you can learn a lot about a woman by what she's not wearing. Just check out her underwear drawer.
When it comes to bras, all women are basically hoarders. One survey said that each woman has, on average, nine bras in their underwear drawers at any given time, half of which they actually wear.
Where did they find that group of women? They must be men in drag, because no self-respecting woman I know would have less than 15 bras in her drawer. That's because we have some for comfort, some for work, some for play, some for dates, some for "getting lucky," and some for special occasions. We have some for support and some for no support. We have some to wear with halter tops, some to wear with criss-cross strappy tops, and some to wear with tops that have no straps. We have some that fit and some that used to fit.
We also usually have weekend bras, boost-the-bosom bras, bras in every color for every outfit, birthday bras, anniversary bras, and even revival bras, for when the flame is flickering toward extinction in our relationships.
In short, most women keep an ungodly amount of bras.
In the 1970s, lots of women burned their bras. It was all about feminine liberation. All it did was liberate saggy breasts. I'm convinced that those women had a drawer full of replacement bras at home, so burning one didn't really inconvenience those bra-burning chicks.
I still remember my first bra. It was white with a blue bow nestled between the girls. I thought it was so pretty that I ran into the other room and lifted my shirt to show it off to my two brothers. They're still in therapy for that one.
My euphoria didn't last, however. I soon learned to hate the thing, and as soon as I got to school, I ditched the bra and stuffed it in my book bag or desk. And just before school was out for the day, I'd make a bathroom run and put it back on. No one was the wiser.
I'd go on, waxing poetic about my memories of wearing pretty bras or even those basic ones that are made to only lift and separate – nothing else. But I suddenly feel the need to head to Victoria's Secret...