A Thin Line

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November 2010 - Posts

Happy Turkey Day!
No matter whether you gather around a ping pong table or find yourself eating in a formal setting...or if you have the traditional meal or you chow down on some popcorn, toast and jelly beans...whatever you do this Thanksgiving, do it with those you love. 

Happy Thanksgiving. Remember to express to your loved ones why you're thankful for them...and laugh. A lot. I plan to. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnohHTLMs3Q
Posted: Nov 23 2010, 12:29 PM by Red On The Head | with no comments
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I wish everybody would just wag more, bark less

I was out sick for a couple of days this week, and our office bulldog, Rocco, greeted me with full-body wag when I came back to work. I was pickled tink. 


So I was able to wag for him when he came back to work today after being out sick yesterday. Yep. I wagged. It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. (And for the record, I didn't breathe on him and make him sick. I just felt a clarification was necessary.)


There's an old joke about dogs wagging their tails that goes like this: A young boy is afraid to pet a dog, who's wagging his tail. The owner says, "He's friendly. Look, he's wagging his tail." The boy responds, "Yeah, but he's barking and growling. I don't know which end to believe!"


This got me to thinking: just why does a dog wag his tail? A dog's wagging tail isn't necessarily a sign that he's friendly. So if that's the case, what does it mean?


A dog's tail position and motion is incorporated as a component of a complex system of body language that domestic dogs use, along with verbal cues such as barking, growling or whining, in order to communicate. A wagging tail indicates excitement or agitation. But whether the dog means to extend an invitation to play, or to warn you to keep your distance, depends on his body language.


A slowly wagging tail that curves down and back up in a "U" shape indicates a relaxed, playful dog. If his ears are erect and pointing forward and he is in the classic "play bow" position, he's asking you to play. 


A tail that is held higher, whether it's wagging or not, indicates dominance and/or increased interest in something. If the end of the tail arches over the back and is twitching, it's likely he's aggressive. 


For a dog, tail position or movement is all about being social. Dogs don't wag their tails when they are alone. Then again, neither do us humans.


I'll conclude with what I always think when I see Rocco first thing every workday, and he's in full-body wag…I wish everyone greeted me like he does. 



Posted: Nov 19 2010, 02:16 PM by Red On The Head | with no comments
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Now THIS lady should be a centerfold...

We read this week of a teacher in Sandusky, Ohio who was fired for napping in class. Yep. Napping in class.


It's not that she was bored. It's not that her classroom was that quiet. She was 71. That's right – 71 YEARS OLD.


And when the local school board got wind of her classroom napping, they fired her. 


Now, it took us a while to get over the fact, first of all, that a 71-year-old woman was teaching in the first place. Isn't someone that age supposed to be retired? But let's face it – if the woman is that old and still trying to teach, come on..she's tired! She's going to fall asleep in class. At her age, she needs a nap. Seriously.


She was also reprimanded for frequently arriving to class late. Come on. You know it takes a while to find a parking spot close to the entrance…and the tennis balls keep falling off her walker as she's making her way down the hallway to class. Give the woman a break!


But this elderly woman has some spunk too. She was suspended in April without pay for discussing "Playboy" and "Playgirl" magazines in a freshman history class. The discussion centered around yellow journalism. But maybe she was simply conducting a reading tutorial, and that's the material that inspired her students to read. Those magazines do, after all, have articles in them. And aren't teachers supposed to inspire their students to want to learn?


To the school board in Sandusky, we say first of all, you may want to look into a recruitment program. If you're relying on teachers in their 70s in your classrooms, then you've got bigger problems than classroom discussions centered around girly magazines.


And furthermore, if a teacher is still willing to stand before a classroom of teenagers and try to help them better themselves by becoming better educated when she's well beyond retirement age, we say you should celebrate that. Particularly if she is innovative enough to use teaching materials that would make most little old blue-hairs blush.


So instead of firing her, you should celebrate this woman. Sure, you may not have agreed with her methods, and she may have nodded off now and again, but give her a break. 


After all, she probably taught everyone on that school board. You owe her.

Posted: Nov 12 2010, 01:33 PM by Red On The Head | with no comments
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Well bless yer little heart, shugah...

I am from Georgia and therefore like all things, well, Georgian. I like the wind blowing through pine trees. I like that when you swim in a lake in a white swimsuit, it will soon be orange from all the Georgia clay in the water. I like the dogwoods and azaleas in the springtime. And I love me some Georgia Bulldogs. 


The best part about being from Georgia, and being from the South in general, is having a southern accent. It grieves my heart that so many of the young folks today sound like yankees, even though they were born right here in Dixie. It's such a shame. A southerner should have an accent that drips with just as much sugar as her iced tea…and that's getting harder and harder to come by these days. 


So I decided to share some of my favorite southern words…enjoy them, darlin'…


Everhoo:  Another baffling Southernism - a reverse contraction of whoever."Everhoo one of you kids wants to go to the movie better clean up their room."

Fixin' to:  About to. "I'm fixin' to go to the store."

Nekkid:  To be unclothed. "Did you see her in that movie? She was nekkid as a jaybird."

PEEcans:  Northerners call them peCONNS for some obscure reason. "Honey, go out in the yard and pick up a passel of PEEcans. Ah'm gonna make us a pie."

Retard:  No longer employed. "He's retard now."

Dubba Wide: A mobile or modular home. "That there tarnaida shoo did mess up my dubba wide!"

Floss Water: A device used to squish flying bugs. "Hand me the floss water, bug. I'm gonna kill that bee."

Heavy Dew: Phrase. "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

Jury: Necklaces, bracelets, rings, etc. "Mah, that's some pretty jury you got on."

Kumpny: Group of invited guests. "Put your overhauls on Bubba, kumpny's common'!"

Mayter: Red fruit used in ketchup. "I'm hungry. Fix me a mayter sammich."

 Meerfuraminit: Mandating a person's immediate presence. 

Preshadit: A way to give thanks.  Pronounced "PRE-shay-diht."

Surp: Noun. What you put on pancakes or waffles.

Warsh: To clean. "Warsh that squash, Bubba, it just come outta the garden."

As you can see, speaking with a southern turn of phrase is an art. And it's becoming a lost art. But no matter how you speak,  just remember that the South is a place where tea is sweet and accents are sweeter, summer starts in April, macaroni and cheese is a vegetable, front porches are wide and words are long, pecan pie is a staple, y'all is the only proper noun, chicken is fried and biscuits come with gravy, everything is "darlin" and someone's heart is always being blessed...


Posted: Nov 05 2010, 02:45 PM by Red On The Head | with no comments
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